Outsmarted CHRISTMAS
JOKES
I’ve just got my son a flat piece of cardboard for Christmas. Although
what he wants with an ex box I’ll never know. ✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯
What's the most popular Christmas wine?
”I don't like Brussels sprouts!”
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I got a sweater for Christmas. I was hoping for a screamer or a moaner.
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Be careful with drinking this Christmas. I got so drunk last night I found myself dancing in a cheesy bar…or, as you like to call it, delicatessen.
CROSSWORD 2014 Across
1 Winners of Best British Group at the Brits 2014 (6,7)
6 Members of this boy band were caught smoking weed(3,9)
10 Where the World Cup was held in 2014 (6)
12 He finally married Angelina this year (4,4)
15 Meghan Trainor had a hit with this in 2014 (3,5,4,4)
16 Daughter of a Boomtown Rat who died this year (7,6)
17 Cheryl's original surname(6) 19 What we did in our gardens for charity this summer (3,6,9)
20Te male judge from Te Bake Off (4,9)
Down 2 Aphex Twin's 2014 album (4)
6/ December 2014/
outlineonline.co.uk
3 Tis film starred a space racoon (9,2,3,6)
4 She had a scuffle with Jay Z in a lift in 2014 (7)
5 Handsome movie star who got married in Venice (6,7)
7 Author who got into hot water with Manuel had a new book published (7, 5)
8 Tis singer won Eurovision with an enviable beard (8)
9 Tey won the Mercury Prize 2014 (5,7)
11 Pop star who released Trouble in Paradise this year (2,4)
12 Jordan's new baby daughter (5) 13 Shouty Irish politician who died in 2014 (3,7)
14 Tis country failed in its bid for independence (8)
18 Tis city hosted the start of the Tour de France (5)
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Why is Santa Claus always so happy?
Because he knows where all the naughty girls live. ✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯
I was taking down some
lecture notes this morning when I thought I really must try harder with my
decorations next year. ✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯
How does Santa like his pizza?
Deep pan, crisp and even. ✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯
Why did the turkey join the band?
Because it had the drumsticks!
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