list” mindset. This serious get things done energy has its time and place. Be more playful and light with us. It brings more happiness and fun into the relationship. Is there room for more laughter in your relationship?


We Both Need Downtime


We often need to do mindless activities like clicking the remote from channel to channel on the tv, or surfing the net for nonsense, or working on a favorite hobby or project of ours, or just hanging out with a buddy talking about nothing. What might seem like we are wasting time to you is actually helping us rebuild testosterone. And these activities that we need do at the end of our day to wind down can seem to be at a time when you are feeling stressed out. But we need our downtime. And so do you. Women need to take time to care for them-


selves as well by doing any number of little things that replenish the love chemical oxytocin. When you give and give with no time for yourself, or you feel guilty because there is so much to do and you put yourself last, you will feel empty and more stressed. Self-nurturing and pampering activities will help to restore balance into your life. You could choose anything that makes you feel good, like a spa treatment, working out, girls’ night out, shopping, a bubble bath, walking in nature etc... What makes you feel good that you have been neglecting doing for yourself? If you take care of you first, you will have so much more


available for us or your children. You will also feel much better about yourself and that leads to a happier you. And maybe that shift will make it easier to energize your playful side - a side that everyone likes! You are an amazing woman who became a lover with your


man. Maybe now you are also a wife and mom with a challeng- ing career. Where did that playful lover part of you go? She is still there. Remember how enticing you can be? We remember. Passion in relationships never appears by demand or hoping. When it is playfully enticed it appears naturally. Be that woman that we fell in love with.


Do we seem boring and dull from a life filled with stress, static routines and obligations? You can help us to escape by bringing more of your creative, feminine aliveness to our senses and interactions. Anytime you approach us coming from your feeling-heart instead of your thought-filled head, you will cap- ture our full attention. We are much more present and available to you when you have the opposing energy to our masculine. We truly want to make you happy. But we don’t want to be


the sole source of your happiness. Be happy with yourself and who you are. We desire to make you happier by sharing our life with you.


If we feel we cannot make you happy no matter what we do, we will tend to give up and mentally check out of the re- lationship. You have set us up for failure if we become the sole source of your happiness because we will never be enough. Your ultimate happiness is up to you, not your man.


Get More for Less When you are loving, happy, playful and light you will get


so much more from us. We miss your intuitive heart in the rela- tionship. You have so much insight and wisdom within you, and we honor that aspect of you even if we forget to tell you. Heart saves and enhances relationships, not intellect. Can you tell when your man is under stress? Can you have heartfelt understanding of what he might be going through? Get curious about us. Your intuition will tell you how to help us snap out of it, not demands. We love to talk with you, but we are not your girlfriends.


We find it difficult to listen to an hour of chatty conversation that weaves in and out from subject to subject. We prefer a logical progression. Sometimes you give us too


many details for our straight-forward, and bottom-line oriented minds. Tell us what we need to know that’s important to you and we will listen. Just remember, our attention spans are short, particularly if we are trying to wind down the day or watching our favorite sports team play.


The Bottom Line We both want to be happier and have more fun. We also


both want to feel more valued and connected. We want to be appreciated for who we are and what we bring to the relation- ship. We want the same basic things, and they give us a solid foundation from which to build something really special to- gether. The little stressors in life may have gotten in the way in the past. But we can both lighten up and remember to be more playful with each other. What will you do to initiate a lighter mood in your home? Remember, passion is the glue that holds the relationship together and keeps the little things from becoming blown out of proportion. When passion is high, the little irritations tend to remain irrelevant and can’t pile up. They are non-events. If you have ever had big arguments with your partner only to later on not have any idea what you were arguing about, some little things stacked up and became blown out of proportion. And in that moment you forgot everything that really mattered about your partner. Today, what will you do to demonstrate how im- portant your partner is in your life? The relationship will always reflect what we do and fail to do. So let us both choose wisely. Our happiness deserves it. And we are only limited by our willingness to go first.


Jeff Forte, Executive and Peak Performance Coach, author of the new book The 90-Minute Marriage Miracle and The Million Dollar Mindset audio program is a key talent turnaround expert, and specialist in team and relationship dynamics. He holds Certifications in Strategic Intervention and Marriage Education. His clients include Fortune 500 executives, Entrepreneurs, At- torneys, Surgeons, Teams, Professional Athletes and Couples. For inquiries or to schedule a complimentary consultation email jeff@peakresultscoaching.com or visit www.peakresultscoach- ing.com.


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