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Turf Side Up TURF SIDE UP! The not so serious side of the industry Pope to open the bowling?


THE Vatican has launched its own official cricket club as part of efforts to encourage interfaith dialogue.


The St Peter’s Cricket Club is the brainchild of Australia’s ambassador to the Holy See (Sancta Sedes), John McCarthy.


He described it as an example of “sporting diplomacy” which would present the opportunity to play the Hindus, Muslims and Sikhs.


The next stage is to select an official cricket team.


Mr McCarthy estimates that there are between 250 and 350 potential players from around the world studying in seminaries and religious universities in Rome - many of them from cricket loving countries.


The board will stage a limited-overs tournament which will give students and priests a chance to compete for a place on the team, to be known as the Vatican XI.


Speaking at the launch of the ©BBC


Father Theodore Mascarenhas, John McCarthy, Monsignor Sanchez de Toca y Alameda and Father Eamon O’Higgins at the launch


club, Monsignor Melchor Sanchez, who is the honorary president of St Peter’s Cricket Club, said; “this represents the council’s desire to go to the peripheries of the world that Pope Francis has spoken of.”


And the chairman of the club, Father Theodore Mascarenhas, an Indian priest known for his off-spin bowling, was confident about the Church’s skills; “the team will be strong enough to beat anyone in the world,” he commented.


The club has already laid down its first challenge to the Church of England and asked for a match at Lord’s - where else - in September.


A ‘fine’ mess avoided!


GARY Pallister’s first club, Billingham Town FC, were thrashed 14-0 after fielding just seven players - two of whom were injured!


The club played with the minimum-allowed number in order to avoid a fine for forfeiting their match against Stockton Town in the Durham Challenge Cup.


They were also managerless following a resignation.


Billingham, who are four steps below the Conference Premier, even had to put one of the injured players in goal.


Former manager Paul Burton resigned after defeat at Guisborough Town and several of the players told the chairman they were not willing to play for the club any longer.


“I texted 22 players on 152 PC DECEMBER/JANUARY 2014


Thursday and seven said they were unavailable,” chairman Glenn Youngman told BBC Sport.


“Four had fair excuses but three just asked for transfers. Those three, along with the ones who didn’t reply, have let their team-mates down and will be shipped out.”


“Full credit to the lads who did turn up,” said Mr Youngman, “because we very nearly had to forfeit. Then we would probably have been banned from next year’s competition and been hit with a huge fine.”


Dickie raised in stature!


A STATUE of former Test cricket umpire Dickie Bird has been elevated to stop people hanging rude items on his outstretched finger.


The sculpture, in his hometown of Barnsley, has become a magnet for revellers who, amongst other items, have hung condoms and pants from it.


The sculpture has been raised to make it harder to reach the statue’s finger.


The life-size statue shows the legendary former umpire raising his index finger to indicate a batsman is out.


Other items to have been hung from it have included


‘Think’ tank?


THE TaxPayer’s Alliance (TPA) has urged local authorities to use local livestock to graze on council land rather than spending money on grass maintenance.


Additional advice for LAs includes housing children in care in boarding schools and cutting spending on disabled and elderly residents.


Political director of the TPA, Jonathan Isaby, said: “Any civic leader claiming that raising the council tax is their only option had better be able to prove that they


have implemented or at least considered implementing every single idea we are putting before them today.”


“If not, they won’t be able to look their residents in the eye and insist that they have exhausted the possibilities for saving money.”


Responding to the report, a spokesman for the Local Government Association said: “The TPA seems to have lost its bearings. This report is peppered with a number of frankly ridiculous ideas, some of which are downright dangerous.”


Top ten reasons why golf is


better than sex! 10 - A below par performance is considered good


9 - You can stop in the middle and have a burger and a couple of beers


8 - It’s much easier to find the sweet spot


7 - Foursomes are encouraged


6 - You can still make money doing it as a senior


5 - Three times a day is possible


4 - Your partner doesn’t hire a lawyer if you do it with someone else


3 - If you live in Florida, you can do it every day


2 - You don’t have to cuddle with your partner when you’re finished


and...


1 - If your equipment gets old and rusty, you can replace it


David Letterman pumpkins and chip boxes.


Dickie said he did not mind people having fun hanging items from the statue, but now worried about them falling off the plinth.


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