Love is an Action Word:
Tangible Ways to Connect to Your Child
By Dr. Caron Goode
While saying “I love you” expresses how you feel to your child, when you’re able to clearly communicate your love in a tangible way that your child understands, there’s no chance your child will miss the message. Considering your child’s interactive style when showing expressions of love helps assure that your child, without a doubt, feels love, cared for and connected.
Many parents, especially those of multiples, recognize that each child has his or her way of learning about the world. During the toddler years, for example, a parent may recognize that one child has more success learning a new skill when he tackles it
on his own, while another has more success when modeling the activity after mom or dad.
This is because each child interacts with their world differently. In fact, there are four separate and distinct categories of interactive styles. These groups include achievers, thinkers, harmonizers and influencers. While there are bits and pieces of each interactive style in all of our children, children typically exhibit one or two dominant styles that direct how they interact with their world.
For this reason, it should be no surprise that a child’s interactive style also influences how they feel and receive love. Once you understand what your child’s
August/September 2012
interactive style is, you clearly speak their love language, connect with them on a deeper level and tangibly demonstrate your love for them in a way they’ll understand and appreciate.
Achievers tend to be children who have a great need for freedom and self-expression. These children shy away from talking about their problems and feelings, and instead love the challenge of trying something new and achieving a goal. Achievers tend to be independent and appreciate all that is concrete. They often don’t like to show or receive much affection. Parents of achievers can tangibly show their child by love by giving gifts, offering positive, purposeful praise and by
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