Facts are that over 70 percent of all highway breakdowns
are cooling system related. Most manufacturers claim cooling hoses have a lifespan of seven years, 140,000 K’s. So have them pressure tested and replaced every seven years. Everything these days regarding vehicles seems to be getting
more and more complex, coolant systems and antifreeze included. Where once we had simple green coloured ethylene glycol antifreeze, we now have extended life, super dooper extended life, forever aſter into the next generation extended life antifreeze which can be used in embalming procedures to keep that smug smile (or scowl) on your face knowing your grandkids will never get a nickel out of your estate since you had the walls of your coffin lined in the new plastic hundreds thanks to the Canadian Mint. We’ve used antifreeze in automobiles for many decades,
because they not only lower the freezing point of your coolant but more importantly raise the boiling point. Te original choice of green as a colour has a rather
interesting beginning. It was rumored that antifreeze was invented in Ireland when a Shamus McGintee had a batch of homemade beer go green. He leſt it on his porch in the middle of a cold winter night and discovered the next morning that it hadn’t frozen due to the alcohol content. He had the great idea of putting it into his frosted-over radiator and proceeded to blow himself, and his car, into a million bits aſter it heated up. “Funny stuff that alcohol,” was reported to be said at his 16-
day-long wake aſter. Years later a company read the article and decided to use
methyl alcohol based antifreeze, still used in windshield washer systems, to produce the first antifreeze. In memory of poor old Shamus they decided to colour it green. Truth is, it’s coloured that way to distinguish it from other
sources of leaks. Red for transmission fluid, brown or black (we’ll talk about regular oil changes in future articles) for engine oil. Although now there are several colours of antifreeze out there. So chances are, if it’s bright green it’s safe, and if it’s gold coloured there’s been an inebriated Leprechaun urinating in your radiator. Ever wonder where he hid his pot of gold? Have your antifreeze tested for PH content. Tis will
determine if it is acidic or alkaline. Using pure straight antifreeze is not recommended, unless of course you’re living in Nunavut. In which case you’ve already got whale blood in your veins or hooked on watching the Northern Lights while high on mushrooms. Nowadays there are newer types of antifreeze, like Dexcool,
which are based on OAT technology, (no this is not something you devour in the morning with toast). Organic Acid Technology (good to five years 250,000 k’s)
has a longer lifespan than glycol (typically two years 50,000 k’s) but the two don’t mix well. Kinda like drinking beer all night and ending it with a triple Vodka Amaratto shooter called “Singing on the great white telephone.” Which is exactly what
...for all your toys Live
Well...Store Well
you’ll be doing at 3 a.m. and this has nothing to do with opera or anything remotely musical. Even newer are HOAT (Hybrid Organic Acid Technology)
antifreezes put out by some manufacturers which also claim to give five year 250,000 k life spans. But HOAT substances will mix with all other types of antifreeze. However these newer antifreezes are considered
environmentally hazardous, so coming soon will be the new SOAT-based antifreezes, which are totally environmentally friendly (soybean based) substances. When they hit their ‘best by’ date they turn into a jelly tofu type substance that can be cut, browned, and seasoned with flavour enhancers to taste, smell and look like garlic toast. (Note to lawyer types, several grain companies have already begun a class action lawsuit to stop delivery of this product, claiming reduced lucrative summer garlic breads sales will plummet causing hardships in the bread industry). But you don’t care because you’ll be yelling “Shoulda had her
flushed out and the hoses changed” while watching from the safety of your campfire as buzzards clack away at some other distressed RVer whose old hoses gave up doing the watuzzi with an old sludge-filled radiator. PS: I also hear that these new SOAT antifreezes have a 24SPF
and with other smell enhancers (lavender, sandalwood), mildly heat up when applied on bodies for those sexy oh-la-la evenings. Will the wonders of science never cease? k
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