Expect the unexpected.
feathering cont’d
Having a strong, trusting relationship with her daughter was key, says Martin.
“I had moments when I would miss her and cry, but they were short. We are both very secure with each other, so I didn’t see it as a loss in the relationship. There was no emotional distance, just geographical,” states Martin.
LEARNING TO FLY Wade Haubert, Jr. was pleased by his stepson Brandon’s desire to live off campus, but at a college not too far from their Orefi eld home.
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“The purpose of college is to be exposed to the rich diversity of life, meeting new people, dating new people, taking a variety of classes. You’re trying to fi nd yourself and learn about being on your own,” believes Haubert, Jr. “Unlike video games, there is no restart button, no do-over. You don’t get a second life if you screw up. Your success or failure is your responsibility; and you can’t get that experience living under your parents’ roof. We were excited to see how that would turn out—the ultimate test of our parenting.”
Haubert, Jr. married Brandon’s mother Antoinette when Brandon, now 21, was 10 years old. Circumstances as they were, the couple skipped the honeymoon phase and passed directly into family mode.
“Up until the time he left, our time together was spent trying to provide the best life for Brandon and the best possible future,” says Haubert, Jr. “Even when the realization came that he was gone, we knew he wasn’t gone for good. Our work would not be completely done until he graduated from college and was settled. So when he left for school, we thought that while Brandon was off doing his own life, we could focus on each other. We were excited that he would be close by, but also excited that we would have time alone.”
Haubert, Jr. suggests couples start preparing themselves for the empty nest as early as their child’s junior year in high school.
80 Early Fall 2011 Lehigh Valley Marketplace
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