My Misses has told me I am immature and we need to set aside a day we can sit down and talk about it. Like that’s going to happen right in the middle of the conker season…….
For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way computers have enhanced our lives, read on.
At a recent computer expo
(COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, 'If Ford had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon.' In response to Bill 's comments, Ford issued a press release stating:
1
12. Dave Harris at The Winchester
What was the series ?
4. The Dog in The Pond Run by Jack.
What’s the soap?
Investment advice from The Local Herald A few years ago, if you had purchased £1,000 of shares in Delta Airlines , you would have £49.00 today. If you had purchased £1,000 of shares in AIG, you would have £33.00 today. If you had purchased £1,000 of shares in Lehman Brothers , you would have £0.00 today. But, if you had purchased £1,000 worth of beer, drank all the beer, then returned in the aluminium cans for recycling refund, you would have received £214.00. Based on the above, the best current investment plan is to drink heavily & recycle. A recent study found that the average Briton walks about 900 miles a year. Another study found that Britons drink, on average, 22 gallons of Alcohol a year. That means that, on average, we get about 41 miles to the gallon! Makes you proud to be British!!
If Ford had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics... 1.. For no reason whatsoever, your car would
crash.....Twice a day. 2.. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car. 3.. Occasionally your car would die on the motorway for no reason. You would have to pull over to the side of the road, close all of the windows, turn off the engine, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this. 4.. Occasionally, executing a manoeuvre such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine. 5.. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five per cent of the roads. 6.. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single 'This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation' warning light. 7.. The airbag system would ask 'Are you sure?' before deploying. 8.. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna. 9.. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car. 10. You'd have to press the 'Start' button to turn the engine off.
19.
Page 1 |
Page 2 |
Page 3 |
Page 4 |
Page 5 |
Page 6 |
Page 7 |
Page 8 |
Page 9 |
Page 10 |
Page 11 |
Page 12 |
Page 13 |
Page 14 |
Page 15 |
Page 16 |
Page 17 |
Page 18 |
Page 19 |
Page 20 |
Page 21 |
Page 22 |
Page 23 |
Page 24 |
Page 25 |
Page 26 |
Page 27 |
Page 28