Harold & Ethel. Ethel: The minister told me that at my age I should be giving some thought to what he called “the hereafter.” Harold:
What did you say ? Ethel: I told him “I think about it many times a day.” And he said “That is very wise.” “It’s not a matter of wisdom,” I told him. “It’s when I open a drawer or a cupboard, I ask myself, ‘What am I here after?”
Have you come across the Dyslexic Yorkshireman. He was last seen wearing a cat flap.
A bent- over old lady hobbled into a doctor's office. Within minutes, she came out again but miraculously, she was standing up as straight as could be. A man in the waiting room who had been watching her said in amazement; "My goodness, what did the doctor do to you?" The old lady replied, "He gave me a longer walking stick !"
Can you find our mystery pub ?
Clitheroe Food Festival – Saturday 13 August. Clitheroe will truly live up to it’s title as Lancashire’s Food Town when the Clitheroe Food Festival takes place again on Saturday, 13th August 2011, showcasing the best of Ribble Valley and Lancashire food and drink producers. Following the fine food and craft street market which attracted thousands of visitors last summer, this year’s event promises to be even bigger and better! This family focused event will include a country market, live cookery demonstrations by local and top named chefs, children’s food oriented activities, historical displays, entertainment and much more. Engaging the support of Nigel Haworth (Northcote Manor) and Helen Colley (founder of Farmhouse Fare) the Food Festival will be located in New Market Street with fringe events taking place all around the town. All this will take place on the same day as the Clitheroe Castle Last Night of the Proms event, and what a superb evening this is. Everyone takes their picnic hampers and bottles of wine ( and even champagne ) to enjoy a superb night of music for all ages. See you there.
Don't worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you. - Winston Churchill. Makes you think !
Why are the numbers on a calculator and a phone reversed? Why do British people never sound British when they sing? If nobody buys a ticket to a movie do they still show it? How come all of the planets are spherical? Do butterflies remember life as a caterpillar?
Brian’s Airport Transfers
Private Hire Established 1975 New Cars Plus 8 Seater Mini Bus
01254 396565 07957 237858
Eamon D’ Arcy had a golf swing like an octopus falling out of a tree. David Feherty
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