My dad says that


flatulence is the emergency vehicle that picks you up


after you’ve been run over by a steamroller.


DANCING ON ICE. In no particular order.


The wife has started going to weightwatchers. I can’t see the point in it myself.


I was driving the other day when I saw an RAC van parked up. The driver was sobbing uncontrollably and looking very miserable. I thought to myself,


‘that guy’s heading for a breakdown’.


In The Dock. “So you admit breaking in to the dress shop on four separate occasions” The judge askes the defendant. “What did you steal ?” “A dress your honour.” “One dress?” Echoes the judge. “But you admit breaking in to the shop four times ?” “Yes your Honour, but the first three times the wife didn’t like the colour.”


No Secrets After 55 years of marriage a friend askes the husband, “Are there any secrets between you two, do you ever hide anything from each other ?” “Well yes.” Replies the old man with a sly grin. “I have £10,000 in a bank account that Mary doesn’t know about, and she has a bank account with £10,000 that I don’t know about.”


10. Aspects of Love.


5.


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