Harold & Ethel. Harold: I went down to that fancy Burtons menswear shop this afternoon, and asked the man if he had anything to fit me “Off the peg.”


Ethel: What did he give you? …………….Harold: A tie. Ethel: Was it alright ? …………..Harold: No, it was really tight.


Romance is different all over the world. In France, when a lady is having a romantic interlude, she will


look up and say, “ Sacre bleu!” In Italy, when a lady is having a romantic interlude she will look up and say,” Sempre amore!” In Britain , when a lady is having a romantic interlude, she will look up and say,


“That ceiling could do with a coat of emulsion!”


Romantic meal.


“I’ve invited Kate round for dinner. I thought you might like to join us.”


“Haven’t you heard the expression, Three’s a crowd?” “Of course I have, I support Wigan.” Not Going Out.


The Credit Crunch. We call it “debt”, others call it “credit”, committee men’s wives call it “on Account.” Yeah, well I’m in debt on account of not being able to pay my credit. Go and get measured for a suit, say for £70, because you don’t care what you pay when it’s debt. They might want £5 a week. Don’t pay. Wait till you get a summons from the County Court - £1 a month. “The Little waster,” Bobby Thompson.


Hit Some Balls - From front page


Ahhhh, February, The Month of Romance,


I wanted love poems, you couldn’t write ‘em, my earlobes nibbled, you couldn't bite ‘em. You’d just f*rt and attempt to light ‘em- Things would never have worked. Victoria Wood.


Don’t sit at home bored come and hit some balls Open 7 Days & Nights regardless of weather


Free Golf Lessons for juniors on Saturday Mornings Please ring for details: 01254 884222 www.lee-valley.co.uk


SELL YOUR SCRAP GOLD 01254 888292 One Stop Cash Shop, 39 Queen Street, Great Harwood, BB6 7QP


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