The graveside service just barely finished, when there was a massive clap of thunder, followed by a tremendous bolt of lightning, accompanied by even more thunder rumbling in the distance. The little old man looked at the preacher and calmly said, 'Well......she's there.'


Alfred Nobel Born: Oct. 21, 1833 Stockholm, Sweden Died: Dec. 10, 1896 Inventor. He was the inventor of dynamite, and the founder of the Nobel Prize. As a young man working in his father's munitions factory, he became fascinated with the newly invented s u b s t a n c e c a l l e d nitroglycerin. Given the fact that nitroglycerin was notoriously unstable when moved, he experimented with different additives. He soon found that mixing nitroglycerin with silica would turn the liquid into a paste which could be shaped into rods of a size and form suitable for insertion into drilling holes for the production of stone for building construction. In 1867 he patented this material under the name of dynamite. Nobel patented the explosive he named ballisite, a derivative of dynamite, which was extensively used in bombs and canon ordinance in the Crimean War, which consequently made him one of the world's richest men. The fact that his inventions were more valued as a tool of destruction drove him to fits of deep depression which caused his heart to weaken. A chronic sufferer of chest colds, Nobel purchased a villa in the picturesque town of San Remo, Italy, where he continued chemical experiments and lived out the remainder of his life, passing away on December 10, 1896. He bequeathed his fortune to those who had benefited humanity through science, literature and efforts to promote peace, and in 1901 the first Nobel Peace Prize was awarded.


Aah finally! A bit of peace and quiet to read my Herald by.


Past Politicians. Richard Nixon was the kind of politician who would cut down a redwood tree and then jump on the stump to give a speech on conservation. Adlai Stevenson. Richard Nixon is the kind of man who, if you were drowning twenty feet from the shore, would throw you a fifteen foot rope. Eugene McCarthy. Donald Rumsfeld, love him or hate him, you’ve got to admit a lot of people hate him. Jon Stewart. Of Margaret Thatcher. I cannot bring myself to vote for a woman who has been voice trained to speak to me as if my dog has just died. Keith Waterhouse. Harold Wilson is going around the country stirring up apathy. William Whitelaw. Of Edward Heath. A shiver looking for a spine to run up. Harold Wilson. Of John Prescott. I suspect language is not his first language. Ann Widdicombe’s confused us all by going blonde. I was watching Question Time and thinking “ Blimey, that Sue Barker’s slapped on a bit of weight.” Linda Smith. A working man voting for Ronald Reagan is like a chicken voting for Colonel Saunders. Paul Sarbanes.


He’s so ugly and bald that he’s like a sore with a bare head.


I just love finding new places to wear diamonds….. Marilyn Monroe. Ahhh Bless !


I asked the waitress for a quickie. The Blonde lady next to me said; “ It’s pronounced Quiche.”


15.


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