A former girlfriend of Bill Gates, the Microsoft boss, remembers him as having bad breath. He remembers her as not having One Hundred Billion Dollars.
If You Can’t Say Anything Nice !
He maybe highly strung, but not high enough for most people. I could never learn to like him, except on a raft at sea with no other provisions in sight.
You could fit all his friends in a phone box. The only place he’s ever invited is outside.
He spent so much time trying to get rid of his bad breath only to discover that he wasn’t popular anyway.
If he didn’t exist nobody would bother to invent him. I worship the quicksand he walks on. He grows on people - like a wart.
He has the warm, charming personality of a slug.
He’s alive today only because it’s illegal to shoot him. He has a knack of making strangers immediately.
I’ll never forget the first time I met him, however hard I try. There’s just something about him I don’t like. I can’t just put my finger on it, but if I could I ‘d have to wash it.
OCTOBER FACTFILE. ANSWERS ON PAGE 30. 1. Who shouted 'Tierra! Tierra!', about two hours after midnight on October 12, 1492? 2. Who was sentenced to death on October 25th, 1586? 3. For what crime was Marie Antoinette guillotined on October 16, 1793? 4. Who was born on October 25, 1881? 5. Which historical first happened on October 6, 1927 ? 6. What gloomy name was given to October 29, 1929? 7. What special event took place on October 30, 1974? 8. Which world leader was assassinated on October 6, 1981? 9. October 23rd, 1983 is remembered for what? 10. Which world leader was murdered on Halloween 1984?
I was sitting in traffic last week, I got run over !
Actual Classified Adverts.
Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children. Semi-Annual after Christmas Sale. Mixing bowl set designed to please a cook with round bottom for efficient beating. Dinner Special Turkey £2.35 Chicken or Beef £2.25 Children £2.00 Antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers. Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too. Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you'll never go anywhere again.
It’s No Secret !
Although somewhat tucked away ( Past the Leisure Centre, Near the Tip) It’s Actually the Biggest Garage in Padiham.
Checklist
√ TYRES - All makes, Sizes & Price Ranges √ BATTERIES - Top Quality 4 Year Warranty √ EXHAUSTS - Everything From Standard To Stainless
√ MOT’s - Class 4 Cars Small Vans & Motorhomes Class 7 Larger Vans & Tippers
√ SERVICING - To all makes, Petrol, Diesel, LPG, at Prices we Guarantee will stun the Competition √ REPAIRS - Clutches, Cam Belts, Engine Work, Brakes, Minor Electrical, DIAGNOSTICS by Bosch & Snap - On
AND A FULLY EQUIPPED BODYSHOP TOO.
√ INSURANCE REPAIRS - Approved by Most Companies √ COURTESY CARS - Available by Arrangement √ CLAIM MANAGEMENT - Full Facilities Including Injuries
√ CUSTOM PAINTWORK - Show Standards With Awards to Prove It
THERE REALLY IS NO WHERE QUITE LIKE IT 10% DISCOUNT WITH THIS ADVERT
14.
BATES CAR & COMMERCIAL PARK RD PADIHAM 01282 779993 OPEN
8.30am Till 10.00pm MON - THURS 8.30am Till 8.00pm FRIDAY 8.30am Till 1.00pm SATURDAY
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