IT‟S ALL GREEK TO ME This is a compilation of
supposedly genuine student bloopers collected by teacher
A
ncient Egypt was inhab- ited by mummies and
they all wrote in hydraulics. They lived in the Sarah Des- sert and travelled by Camelot. The climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere.
M S
A S
A
oses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red Sea,
where they made unleavened bread which is bread made without any ingredients. Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten com- mandments. He died before he ever reached Canada.
olomon had 300 wives and 700 porcupines.
ctually Homer was not written by Homer , but
by another man of that name.
ocrates was a famous Greek teacher who went
around giving people advice. They killed him. Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock. After his death, his
career suffered a dramatic decline.
I
n the Olympic games, Greeks ran races, jumped,
hurled the biscuits, and threw the java.
Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields
of Gaul. The Ides of March murdered him because they thought he was going to be made king. Dying, he gasped: “Tee hee, Brutus.” Nero was a cruel tyranny who tortured his subjects by playing the fiddle to them.
W I
illiam Tell shot an ar- row through an apple
while standing on his son‟s head.
Queen Elizabeth was the „Virgin Queen‟. As a
queen, she was a success. When she exposed herself before her troops, they all shouted „hurrah‟.
t was an age of inventions and discoveries. Gutenberg
invented removable type and the Bible. Another important invention was the circulation of blood. Sir Walter Raleigh is a historical figure because he invented cigarettes and
lways wear clean underwear in public, especially when working under your ve-
hicle. From the Daily News comes this story of a Walsall couple who drove their car to Asda, only to have their car break down in the car park. The man told his wife to carry on with the shopping while he fixed the car. The wife returned later to see a small group of people near the car. On closer inspection, she saw a pair of hairy legs protruding from under the chassis Unfortunately, although the man was in shorts, his lack of underpants turned his private parts into glaringly public ones. Unable to stand the embarrassment, she dutifully stepped forward, quickly put her hand UP his shorts, and tucked everything back into place. On re- gaining her feet, she looked across the bonnet
started smoking. And Sir Francis Drake circumcised the world with a 100 –foot clipper.
T
he great writer of the Renaissance was Wil-
liam Shakespeare. He was born in 1564, supposedly on his birthday. He never made much money and is famous only because of his plays. He wrote tragedies, comedies and hysterectomies, all in Is- lamic pentameter. Romeo and Juliet are an example of a he- roic couplet.
A
braham Lincoln became America‟s greatest
Precedent. Lincoln‟s mother died in infancy, and he was born in a log cabin he built with his own hands.
Johann Bach wrote a great many musical compositions
and had a large number of children. In between he prac- tised on an old spinster which he kept up in his attic. Bach died from 1750 to the present. Bach was the most famous composer in the world and so was Handel. Handel was half German, half Italian and half English. He was very large.
and found herself staring at her husband who
was standing idly by. The RAC mechanic, however, had to have three stitches in his fore- head.
Page No. 41
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