Boy Meets Girl.
Boy: Don’t go thinking about me when I’m gone. Girl: I wasn’t even thinking about you when you were here.
Boy: You’re one in a million. Girl: So are your chances.
Boy: I know how to please a woman. Girl: Good, now please leave me alone.
Boy : How about a date. Girl: Sorry, I don’t date outside my species.
Boy: Do you believe in love at first sight. Girl: No. But I do believe in total, mind-numbing indifference at first sight.
Boy: What do you mean you don’t like me, what’s wrong with me ? Girl: Do you want me to do this alphabetically.
Boy: What do you think of my dancing ? Girl: Are you trying to get fit or are you having one ?
Boy: Do you want to come back to my place? Girl: I don’t know. Will two people fit under a rock ?
5. Stardust.Nat King Cole. Grandmas, Don't know everything….
Little Tony was 9 years old and was staying with his grandma for a few days. He'd been playing outside with the other kids for a while when he came into the house and asked, “Grandma, what's that thing called when two people sleep in the same room and one is on top of the other?” She was a little taken back, but she decided to tell him the truth. “It's called sexual intercourse, darling” Little Tony said, “Oh, OK”, and went back outside to play with the other kids. A few minutes later he came back in and said angrily, “Grandma, it isn't called sexual intercourse, It's called Bunk Beds, and Jimmy's mum wants to talk to you.”
Where do pirates do their Christmas shopping ? ……...AAAAAAARgos.
Comedy Genius From Michael McIntyre. On a recent TV show this brilliant and refreshing comedian came up with two classics as he introduced two celebrity members of his audience. Deborah Meaden of Dragon’s Den fame. Michael suggested a new answerphone message for Deborah. “Let me tell you where I’m at……….. I’m out.” He then introduced Carol Vorderman, and reminded her of the time they met in a lift. Carol was on the buttons and asked “ What do you want.” Michael thought — “If I can’t make a joke out of this I’m not a stand up comedian.” So he replied, “Give me one from the top and any four from underneath.”
5.
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