Painting by Russian artists Michael & Inessa Garmash


3.


A snail was run over in a mos t unfortunate t r a f f i c accident, by a tortoise. He was regaining consciousness in the emergency unit and the nurse asked him ,“What caused the accident?” “I really can’t remember.” Said the snail. “It all happened so fast.”


We now have two dedicated rooms for residential and Dementia care short stays for young and elderly, which means you can now book your respite and short stays up to 12 months in advance.


12.


4.


The Father takes his two young kids to the zoo. They were all looking forward to seeing the monkeys, but when they got there the attendant explained that it was mating season and the monkeys had all gone inside for some “togetherness.” The disappointed father says to the attendant. “Do you think they would come out for some peanuts ?” The attendant replies “ Would you?”


Local Foods 2 U are dedicated to bringing you, the customer, local high grade meat, produce and dairy supplied from farmers within your area. We continually strive to supply our customers with Lancashire grown foods minimising our carbon footprint and supporting our local farming communities. Our beef, pork and lamb are reared in traditional style in the Ribble Valley amidst our beautiful picturesque countryside. All of our meats are of the highest quality and we will not be beaten for standards produced in any supermarket, that’s a guarantee!!.


As all of our meats are reared locally you can be assured that animal welfare has been monitored and will always be of paramount importance to us. Please phone for a leaflet.


24.


We believe in a local and personal service keeping our local growers thriving. A minimum amount of handling is ensured maximising the quality of your delivered product.


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