TO ALL NON-PET OWNERS WHO VISIT OUR HOUSE AND THEN LIKE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT OUR PETS: (1) They live here. You don't. (2) If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. That's why they call it 'fur'-niture. (3) I like my pets a lot better than I like most people. (4) To you, they are animals. To me, they are adopted sons/daughters who are short, hairy, walk on all fours and don't speak clearly.
Remember, dogs and cats are better than kids because they:
(1) eat less, (2) don't ask for money all the time, (3) are easier to train, (4) normally come when called, (5) never ask to drive the car, (6) don't smoke or drink, (7) don't want to wear your clothes, (8) don't have to buy the latest fashions, (9) don't need a gazillion pounds for University and (10) if they get pregnant, you can sell their children ...
I just bought a dog from a blacksmith. The minute I got him home he made a bolt for the door.
When I woke up this morning I just knew something was wrong. There was no smell of cooking, and when I went downstairs there was the wife lying on the ki tchen f loor , unconscious. I didn’t know what to do, but then I remembered that McDonalds serve breakfast till 10.30
Peace of mind for you and
your family
Padiham Football Club A mid October review of Padiham Football Clubs season to date shows the first team are finding it difficult to climb above half way in the Vodkat North West Counties Football League Premier Division table, where as the clubs Reserve side, Under 16 side and Ladies side are all leading their league tables and making good progress. Off the pitch the club continues to work with the Lancashire Probation Service and its Community Pay Back Scheme which see`s a group of offenders visit the Arbories Memorial Sports Ground each week to under take various supervised tasks that help with the upkeep of Padiham Football Club’s facilities. The club also has a working group of volunteers from Meadow Bank Day Centre in Burnley that visits the ground on Fridays. They too help with keeping Padiham Football Club’s ground tidy. Training and Coaching sessions for the clubs open age teams take place at Burnley Football Clubs Gawthorpe Training Ground on Thursday evenings commencing at 9.00 p.m. and on some Tuesday nights. Padiham FC under 11 side train on Wednesday evenings 6.00 p.m. until 7.00 p.m. at Shuttleworth College all weather facility and Padiham FC under 16 side and Ladies side train between 8.00 p.m. and 9.00 p.m. at the same venue on the same night. In total Padiham Football Club have over 180 registered players involved in the clubs weekly activities with representation in the North West Counties Football League, East Lancashire Football League, Lancashire FA County Women’s Football League, East Lancashire Alliance Youth League and the North Valley Youth League. Padiham Football Clubs Function Room continues to be used for community activities, meetings, training days and private functions, bringing in much needed income that help off set some of the clubs twelve hundred pounds weekly running costs. Padiham FC 1st team’s home fixtures for November are Formby FC on Saturday 6th November in the Vodkat League Cup, kick-off 3.00 p.m. and Alsager Town FC on Saturday 20th November, kick-off 3.00 p.m. in the Premier Division of the North West Counties Football League.
Recruiting Now
Self employed individual couples to work flexible hours to suit. Building a Business From Home. World Class Products.
www.lancashirealoegroup.com Tel: 07710949798
Bertwistles make all the difference
when it really matters Suffering the loss of a family member or friend is something that words cannot describe - yet, as you know, it is precisely at this time that someone has to decide who will pay for the funeral and what the funeral arrangements are to be. That’s where Bertwistles Personal Funeral Plan can make all the difference.
Peace of mind for you and your
family The benefit of choosing Bertwistles today is that the complete cost of a funeral and the arrangements that go with it are all taken care of - nobody need have the burden of a funeral bill to pay, nor the worry of having to make such detailed arrangements at such a stressful time.
An independent family funeral
director you can trust Bertwistles offer a choice of three funeral plans to suit your needs and wishes. Whichever you choose the plan will be carried out by an independent family funeral director who has a long and proud tradition of personal service within your community. You can be sure your independent family funeral director will appreciate and respect local customs and expectations whilst offering the highest level of service.
A pre-payment guarantee By pre-paying for your funeral in advance you secure the cost of the funeral which includes the cost of the crematorium, Doctors fees, Minister and Funeral Directors’ services. Where burial is required Bertwistles contribute a sum equal to cremation disbursements to the cost.
Why purchase a Bertwistles Funeral Pre-payment Plan?
• Provide for the cost of your funeral in advance
• Once paid, the cost of your Cremation Plan is guaranteed against inflation
• Choose your own cremation or burial arrangements, tailored according to your own personal wishes
• Payments in one lump sum or regular instalments
• Complete peace of mind for both you and your loved ones
Take the next step… For an informal discussion, more information or to request an information pack please call or telephone your local Bertwistles Funeral Home:
BERTWISTLES FUNERAL HOME 46, Burnley Road, Padiham. BB12 8BN Tel: 01282 771628
www.havenfuneralplans.co.uk Or complete the enquiry card and return by post.
Bertwistles A Local Independent Family Firm
To receive further details on Funeral Pre-Payment Plans, please complete your details below and return to:
Bertwistles Funeral Home 46, Burnley Road, Padiham. BB12 8BN
Title: ………….. 1st Name(s): ……………………………………… Surname: ……………………………………………………………… Address: ………………………………………………………………. ………………………………………………………………………… …………………………………… Postcode: …………………….. Date of Birth: ………………………………………………………….. Daytime telephone no: ………………………………………………...
Page 1 |
Page 2 |
Page 3 |
Page 4 |
Page 5 |
Page 6 |
Page 7 |
Page 8 |
Page 9 |
Page 10 |
Page 11 |
Page 12 |
Page 13 |
Page 14 |
Page 15 |
Page 16 |
Page 17 |
Page 18 |
Page 19 |
Page 20 |
Page 21 |
Page 22 |
Page 23 |
Page 24 |
Page 25 |
Page 26 |
Page 27 |
Page 28 |
Page 29 |
Page 30 |
Page 31 |
Page 32 |
Page 33 |
Page 34 |
Page 35 |
Page 36 |
Page 37 |
Page 38 |
Page 39 |
Page 40 |
Page 41 |
Page 42 |
Page 43 |
Page 44 |
Page 45 |
Page 46 |
Page 47 |
Page 48 |
Page 49 |
Page 50 |
Page 51 |
Page 52