I don’t believe it? In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods. On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, how do you read it !) On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts."


(talk about a news flash)


On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5 year-olds with head-colds off those bulldozers.) On Marks & Spencer Bread & Butter Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating."


(...and you thought????. ..)


On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping. (That's the only time we have to work on our hair.) On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special?) On a bar of Dove soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be???....) On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's only a suggestion.) On packaging for a Rowenta iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save us time?) On Nytol Sleeping pills -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (..and you are taking these because???.. ..) On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to what?) On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help us on this.) On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: say what?) On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (We don't blame the company. We blame the parents for this one.) On a Swedish Chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (Oh my giddy aunt, was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)


Makes you think ! 1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi. 2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian. 3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still. 4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of maths disruption. 5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work. 6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it will always be stationery. 7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering. 8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart. 9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie. 10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.


Women Rule The World.


No man has ever done anything that a woman hasn’t either allowed him to do, or encouraged him to do. Bob Dylan


If You Can’t Say Anything Nice ! I’ve seen healthier looking faces on a Pirate’s Flag. He looks as if his face was designed in a wind tunnel.


They just don’t understand ! 4.


There is a fundamental problem with subtitles on television along the bottom of the screen. Do they want us to watch the program, or do they want us to read the subtitles ? Don’t these idiots, who run these television channels, know that we don’t want to read ? That’s why we are watching the television !!!!!


He has a very sympathetic face, it has everyone’s sympathy.


He’s so ugly that when he went for a vasectomy the doctor said “With a face like that you don’t need one.”


To look at his face you’d think his hobby was stepping on rakes.


She had a mud pack and looked great for two days, then the mud fell off.


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