My Mum hates housework, She makes the beds, does the


dishes, then six months later she has to do it all over again. How daft is that ?


Two Irish lads were working for the Town’s public works department. One would dig a hole and the other would follow behind him and fill the hole in. They worked up one side of the street, then down the other, then moved on to the next street, working furiously all day without rest, one man digging a hole, the other


filling it in again.


An onlooker was amazed at their hard work, but couldn't understand what they were doing. So he asked the hole digger, 'I'm impressed by the effort you two are putting in to your work, but I don't get it -- why do you dig a hole, only to have your partner follow behind and fill it in again?' The hole digger wiped his brow and sighed, 'Well, I suppose it probably looks odd because we're normally a three-man team. But today the lad who plants the trees called in sick.'


So you think you’re Clever ?


“Radio has no future. Heavier than air flying machines are impossible. X– rays will prove to be a hoax.” William Thomson, Lord Kelvin, British Scientist in 1899. “I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.” Thomas J. Watson, Snr chairman of IBM, in 1943. “But what is it good for ?” Engineer at Advanced Computing Division of IBM 1968 commenting on The Microchip.


Desmond Llewelyn Born: Sep. 12, 1914 Died: Dec. 19, 1999 Welsh Actor. He is best remembered for his role of British Agent Q, in 17 of the first 19 James Bond movies. Of the first 19 Bond films, he did not appear in only two: "Doctor No" (1963) and "Live and Let Die" (1973). He first played the role of Q in "From Russia With Love," in 1963. On December 19, 1999, he was severely injured while driving home from a booksigning to promote his biography, "Q", when his car collided head-on with another near the village of Berwick, East Sussex. Taken to the local hospital, he died shortly after his arrival there. After his death, his Q role was taken by actor John Cleese, who played the role of Agent R, an assistant to Q in the 007 movie "The World is Not Enough" (1999) and was promoted to head of Q Branch in the next 007 movie "Die Another Day" (2002), thus reprising the title Q.


A good friend is someone who thinks you're a good egg even though you're slightly cracked.


10.


There will be two dates on your gravestone, and all your friends will read them. But all that is going to matter is the little dash in between them.


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