through his realistically scary psychotic shtick. got the cheers and boos recently? Jeff Hardy and
When the internet pulled back the wrestling CM Punk, two men sold on their struggle to the
curtain to reveal Vinnie Mac playing the organ upper echelons. Are you listening, Mr Levesque?
and Vinnie Russo pumping his bellows (just take
The specially-commissioned music, the
a minute to think of that image. Now exfoliate.
hyperbolic title King of Kings (ironic,
And poke out your mind’s eye.), wrestling was no
considering that royals rule over us through
longer a mythic, arcane sport with it’s own rules
marriage and accidents of birth) and the
and language. It became about the business,
mystical/mythical revamp should all go. In it’s
rather than the art and HHH was ideally
place should be a man who wants to win on his
positioned to exploit that change. His smirk
God-given talent, rather than McMahon-given
seems to say “I’m in wrestling’s first family, so
title shots.
you know they’re gonna take care of me.” We
know it’s not about winning and losing, but how That’s why DX won’t work. It’s OK for him to
he plays the game –the WWE is about soap think “you loved me then, this is bound to make
rather than suplexes. And HHH is benefitting you love me again”, he and Michaels will bicker
from that character placement. over who runs the show. Hemsley lording it over
him just highlights the reasons he needs a
He needs to return to what brought him to the
change. He should lay back and give the floor to
ring, the art of grappling. I’ve been calling for
two younger comedy funsters –Santino Marella
years (like John the Baptist shouting in the
perhaps, or...well, you get the idea. As a nurturer
wilderness, or that homeless bloke who shouts
of talent, Trip will get the rub he wants, throw off
“shitbox” at passers by outside Lidl) for a league
the burden of McMahon preferment and
table, a mark of wrestler’s win/loss, a ladder
revitalise his wrestling skills.
they have to crawl up to reach the gold. It would
add importance to the belts –currently used just Of course, that takes work. An ability to see the
to hold trousers up –and make competition the big picture. A lack of ego. And that’s about as
reason for being. You know, the way fans prefer. likely to happen as Jordan getting a sense of
One slip and you’re at the bottom again. This is dignity/Lindsay Lohan making a good
the way to Tripper McMahon’s salvation; we movie/America caring about it’s unhealthy poor.
need to see him fighting and crawling for his
baubles. Only then will we like him again. Who
The Cynic
43 The online magazine for pro wrestling fans worldwide thewrestlingpress.com
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