THE SmarKRaNT
16 unlikely Professions for Pro Wrestlers
|By SCOTT KEITH-
skeith@gmail.com|
dr. Isaac
S
o the goofy saga of Shawn we can never know if he was doing it for
yankem
Michaels’ fall from top WWE money or just acting out a weird
ddS
superstar into short-order cook psychosis. More recently, Paul Burchill also
got me thinking. Really, it’s not became a pirate, but that one seemed
maxx like a wrestler moonlighting as a cook is more like a case of someone who just
Payne the strangest supposed side-profession wanted to dress up like a
Ken
anyone has ever engaged in while also pirate, so I’d say it
Shamrock
under contract to the WWE anyway, so doesn’t really
what’s the big deal if Shawn wants to find qualify as an
The Goon
his inner Iron Chef? There was a really actual side-
Jean Pierre
annoying period in the 90s where it profession per
Lafitte
seemed like every wrestler under contract se.
The Juicer
to either WCW or the WWF had to have
a second job that defined their
Lazor-Tron character and yet left everyone
Brutus
scratching their heads as to how this
Beefcake
was supposed to make anyone care.
Perhaps Shawn’s second career as
dean
a burger jockey will usher in a new
douglas
golden era for wrestling farmers,
max moon
wrestling doctors or wrestling
Sparky
accountants.
Plugg
Or it could be much, much
dan Severn
worse, as you’ll see below.
The Black
Pirate.Sure, you might not
Scorpion
think that this would be a
popular profession in the
Papa
20th century and beyond, but
Shango
apparently Jean Pierre Lafitte was so
Paul
despondent over the breakup of the
Burchill
Quebecers that he had to turn to a life
of piracy to find his true calling. Of
man
course, in real life if you steal
mountain
someone’s jacket you go to jail for theft,
Rock
but this is wrestling so it only sets up a
JT Southern
grudge match. Sadly, the actual
TL Hopper
motivations behind Lafitte’s turn to
piracy have never been addressed, so
23 The online magazine for pro wrestling fans worldwide
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