You’re Welcome:
The
Rehabilitation
of HHH
|By THE CYNIC-
hearditallbefore@hotmail.com|
C
ongratulations bigots, dunderheads, the born-again God botherer whilst Hunter is King of
sexually incompetent. And those not Kings; certainly King of this particular castle.
born in Lowestoft. Ho. And indeed ho. I How are they going to make it work? A duo
jest. Welcome to Cheap Heat Hour. If it needs a comedian and a straight man. Unless
wasn’t for my weakness for quails eggs with a you’re Hale & Pace, in which case you’ve got two
viagra and tamiflu jue, I wouldn’t be here - I’ll
straight men. Someone needs to lead. When it
tell you, that editor has contacts.
worked, Shawn was DX leader, but now HHH is
the big man on campus and Shawn the returning
Welcome then, to a column with arguments so
hero. They have a similar status.
thin Kerry Katona would be jealous and with an
appeal as long-lasting as Gordon Brown’s. This
Except that in the awful vignettes, echoing the
month, the HHH problem.
appalling “where’s Cactus Jack?” mess in WCW,
Michaels is working as a chef. Ah. Because he’s
What’s wrong with HHH? He’s got everything he
lost all his money, see? So HHH rubs his nose in
ever wanted, hasn’t he? So why do those fans
the fact that HE’S the leader. Oh God, please
seem to tolerate rather than deify him? Why are
spare us his “comedy”. The Angle also showcased
they so bored with him? Don’t they know who he
Shawn superkicking a child. God herself would
is? He’s a McMahon, godammit! Ah, now he’s
blush, wouldn’t she Shawnie?
getting it.
Looking longingly to the past is not going to help.
He lay on his back in the centre of the ring a few
I know people still love the thought of Hogan,
weeks ago and told us in measured, rather
Savage, Hart, but they don’t have to watch them
amused tones that he might have to reform a
wrestling. Add Ric Flair to that list. Hunter needs
certain group. Ooooh, what a tease. Some of the
to make himself essential to the fans, he needs to
crowd popped, most didn’t.
put himself right in the middle of the Fed, rather
And why should they? than rattling his sledgehammer like a highly
paid guest who’s lowering himself by appearing.
DX was a long time ago. It was good while it
lasted. It surfed a non-deferential, ever-so- He needs to do this in a way he may not have
naughty-but-actually-pretty-sanitised comedy considered recently; by wrestling. Right now,
world. Things are different now. We’re not so Trip looks like a family member that you set up
sure of ourselves, we don’t want to enjoy in business because, you know, he’s family. Not
ourselves whilst ignoring the cost, this is a new on merit. On preferment. Ironic that he just
age of austerity, not a brash, neoliberal, big suffered a handicap beatdown by DiBiase and
bonus world. This is not the age that the WWE Rhodes, two second-gen wrestlers who are there
was made for, or an age that a character like mainly because of who daddy is, not because
HHH excels in. DX won’t work now. Shawn is a their grappling is stupendous; they’re pretty
41 The online magazine for pro wrestling fans worldwide
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