Ultimate character was less than impressive to all the
Warrior and the headbangers in the audience that they were obviously
fans! Oh no, it’s trying to pander to. Next up, you had Darryl "Maxx
WWF footnote Payne/Man Mountain Rock"Peterson, who actually
Phantasio, he’s did the same guitar-playing character in both WCW
going to pull a and the WWF under both names. He could at least
jobber’s play the guitar, but this was more of a hobby than a
underwear out marketable character trait or a viable second career.
from under his And don’t forget about JT Southern, who was
tights introduced as Van Hammer’s evil guitar-slinging
to...uh...well, I nemesis in WCW and lasted for about 10 seconds in
don’t know that role. Really, if these guys were actually rock stars,
what’s up with they’d be off being rock stars and making huge money,
that guy’s not hanging around WCW and jobbing to the Diamond
strategy, Studd in small towns. Ironically, WCW released an
actually. I guess album of wrestlers performing their own theme songs
overall within around this time, and none of these "musicians"ended
the weird up getting featured. I totally would have bought a copy
continuity of of "Van Hammer Comes Alive". Totally.
wrestling,
Referee.This one is pretty surreal even by the
magic is also
standards of wrestling, as you have a guy like Danny
not a work and people really can pull rabbits out of
Davis. Or more recently, Slick Johnson in TNA. Guys
hats. I just think there’s so much more impressive
who are so defined by their familiar role as a referee
stuff that could be done with those kinds of mystical
that they actually maintain that role even when
powers, though.
shifting into a role as a wrestler. Like, referees are
Heavy metal Guitarist.What is with this one in
barely even functioning human beings according to
the 90s? We had not one, but THREE different
the logic of wrestling (and on WWE telecasts they
wrestlers trying to impress people by playing guitar
don’t even get NAMES), so why would anyone want
like an 80s guitar hero long after grunge had killed
to watch them wrestle? What suspense is there in
that trend deader than CC Deville’s solo career. I guess
watching a match featuring someone who can be
four if you count Rad Radford. First there was "Heavy
knocked unconscious by a light gust of wind and who
Metal" Van Hammer, who looked like Sammy Hagar
is both legally blind and deaf as a JOB
and wrestled about as well as him, too. See, he’s like
REQUIREMENT? And these guys are supposed to be
Van HALEN, but he’s Van HAMMER. This is WCW wit
THREATS? Stick with counting to three guys, and
for you. Anyway, given that Hammer couldn’t actually
don’t quit your day jobs.
play the guitar he was wielding so impressively, this
Plumber.See, TL Hopper was...forget it, I’m done.
26 The online magazine for pro wrestling fans worldwide thewrestlingpress.com
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