about you. And that’s the root of the problem. He
can’t be seen to lose.
When Vinnie entered our consciousness as a heel
owner rather than a cliche-spouting talking
head, we loved it because he constantly got his
comeuppance; he was a rich bloke who looked
down on us being beaten by blue collar, beer-
swilling man of the people Steve Austin. It was
prime hubris, pride before a fall; we love that.
But Big V got too enamoured of his new
position –the roar of the fans, the caress of the
spotlight, the column inches –and started to
book himself in matches to win, a man of almost
Me and Pops
pensionable age burying his own wrestlers,
started to bark a catchphrase, started to make
himself the ultimate winner. By the time he lost
good in the ring, they’re plasterboard behind the his hair, we didn’t believe it hurt him any more.
stick. Because he’s the figurehead of the company.
HHH used to be good, that’s the sad part. When And HHH is the figurehead of the wrestlers.
he stopped bowing and started crotch chopping, We’re persuaded to want him. And because he’s
he made sure he took his big chance by the sure of his position, he has nothing to prove. So
grapes - his matches were great. Bloody, brutal, his in ring work suffers. His tiresome series
brilliant. Which is why we just gave a prurient against Brandy Orton defined the word tedium
shrug when we learnt he’d squired the scion of and simply went on and on, even shamelessly
the squared circle (it means the heir to a robbing the Austin/Pillman home attack angle. If
wrestling fortune, wordsmiths) and even Orton was in the main event, a feud with him
managed to slap the marriage cuffs on her. puts HHH there too.
He had arrived. And because he’s booked like a superman –Trip
beats 2 men, Trip beats two men when he can
But, pretty much like his dad in-law after he
barely stand, Trip takes a severe beating and
bought WCW, where do you go once you’ve
pops straight back up –it has an effect on those
achieved an ambition? HHH is now at the top
who can’t put him away, it just takes the shine off
table in the WWE; barring a messy divorce, he’s
them. And adds lustre to him, in his own mind,
always going to be assured a place in the brand,
but a glow from fools gold means nothing.
because no-one’s going to tell him to back off if
he’s not cutting it, are they? Even when he loses, he can seem amused and
unconcerned. He’s playing the long game, he
Like a pair of Crocs, it’s comfortable, functional
knows that his family position means he’ll be
but not good to look at. He likes it in front of the
back at the top in a few weeks.
camera, he seems to enjoy his special
relationship with the writers and he enjoys Much as I hate that market-led competition that
winning even when he loses. He has an amused has destroyed our economy and caused anxiety
look on his face, as if he’s got one over on us, as if and depression, it can foster harder work. And
it doesn’t matter. His frat boy comedy has never that’s simply what HHH needs.
been a stayer, like a drinks token at a kegger, it’s
Preferment. Wrestling fans don’t like it.
only good for one visit, but he knows you’re going
Grappling has always been a blue-collar sport,
to have to take it, ‘cos he can’t be replaced.
we like people who make it from nothing –like
HE’LL tell you what’s good/funny/appropriate. Austin’s unlikely rise –or who shake off their
Like pater, this WWE thing is a vehicle. It’s not lineage, like Dwaaaaayne Johnson or Orton,
42 The online magazine for pro wrestling fans worldwide thewrestlingpress.com
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