they’re unhappy at work or in their personal lives, and this reflects on their performance and behaviour.”
FIND THE CURE When faced with a difficult colleague, we could simply say and do nothing, and walk away – but howhelpful is this if you need their co-operation? The more practical solution is to either change your attitude toward themor to change your behaviour. “Put yourself in their shoes,” saysmarketingmanager Dina
Rose of people development company Insights.“What types of demands are they facing? Such insightmay give you a fresh per- spective on their behaviour. Don’t be quick to judge, either. “When you’re frustrated with someone, it’s tempting to start
cataloguing their weaknesses. Instead, try to understand their actions without classifying them as good or bad. Understand that 'difficult' people tend to be unhappypeople, and don't take their behaviour personally.” Whenit comes to changing behaviour, don’t make the mis-
take of trying to change others. “You can only change your responses to their behaviour,” saysRose. “Treat people howyou’d like to be treated – with respect. Don't fight back or try to beat them at their own games as you’re unlikely to ‘win’ – difficult people have an insatiable appetite for more.” Always be professional, especially if you disagree with some-
one. “You don’t have to be best friendswith everyone – you just need to find a way to work effectively with them,” Rose says,who advises colleagues to avoid being emotional and to use their bargaining power. “People aremore likely to be nice to us if we give themsome-
thing they need, so make deals if you can – ‘If you stop doing X, I’ll start doing Y for you’.” Also, advises Premuzic, work out what makes them tick and
show interest in them. “Difficult people tend to have fewer friends so will appreciate this.” You can also try and mimic the attitude and behaviour of
those who seemto get along with anybody. “Bosses and colleagues love having people around themwho
are agreeable, modest, sociable and emotionally stable,” says Premuzic. “Getting along with everyone is the most valuable asset you can have at work. It will help you get ahead quicker.”
DEFINE YOUR STYLE? Finally, another reason for not getting along with a colleague could be simply that your working styles are poles apart. In a survey byOfficeTeam, the InternationalAssociation of Admin- istrative Professionals and Insights, nearly all respondents said theywere aware of theirwork style and 70 per cent also said they found it challenging to work with a colleague whose work style was markedly different from their own. Insights segments professionals into four different work
types, where each style is represented by a colour energy and is associated with specific characteristics...
1 Cool Blue: cautious, precise, deliberate, questioning, formal 1 Earth Green: caring, encouraging, sharing, patient, relaxed 1 SunshineYellow: sociable, dynamic, demonstrative, enthu- siastic, persuasive
1 Fiery Red: competitive, demanding, determined, strong- willed, purposeful
Weall have a mix of traits fromthese four types, but a dom-
inant Colour Energy emerges for everyone. If you’re working with someone who is your opposite, it can be challenging. E
Difficult conduct can stem from insecurities, shyness or low self-worth
AUGUST/OCTOBER 2013 |
WWW.EXECUTIVEPA.ASIA 47
TOP TIPS
10 difficult colleagues and howto get along with them
Drs Rick Brinkman and Rick Kirschner offer a guide to prob- lematic colleagues in their book Dealing with Difficult People.
THE TANK: If you’re in the way, you will be eliminated. Top tip: Aggressive people require assertive reactions: hold your ground.
THESNIPER: Uses your weaknesses against you through sabotage and gossip. Top tip: Bring them out of hiding and suggest open communication.
THEKNOW-IT-ALL: Will tell you what they know but won’t listen to your ideas. Top tip: Know your stuff and present your ideas indirectly.
THE THINK-THEY-KNOW-IT- ALL: They don’t let what they don’t know get in the way. Top tip: Catch them in the act and ask for specifics.
THE YES PERSON: Quick to agree, slow to deliver. Top tip: Get commit- ment by helping them learn to plan.
THEMAYBE PERSON: Keeps putting off decisions until it’s too late. Top tip: Teach them a decision- making process that works for you.
THENOTHING PERSON: They give you no feedback. Top tip: Ask plenty of questions that cannot be answered with a yes, a no or a grunt.
THENOPERSON: A perfectionist who finds fault in everything. Top tip: Sort through their negativity for points that are worth considering.
THE WHINER: Nothing’s right... Top tip: Interrupt them and shift their focus to solutions.
THE GRENADE: Explodes in tantrums. Top tip: Listen for the cause of the explosion and diffuse by responding calmly.
Page 1 |
Page 2 |
Page 3 |
Page 4 |
Page 5 |
Page 6 |
Page 7 |
Page 8 |
Page 9 |
Page 10 |
Page 11 |
Page 12 |
Page 13 |
Page 14 |
Page 15 |
Page 16 |
Page 17 |
Page 18 |
Page 19 |
Page 20 |
Page 21 |
Page 22 |
Page 23 |
Page 24 |
Page 25 |
Page 26 |
Page 27 |
Page 28 |
Page 29 |
Page 30 |
Page 31 |
Page 32 |
Page 33 |
Page 34 |
Page 35 |
Page 36 |
Page 37 |
Page 38 |
Page 39 |
Page 40 |
Page 41 |
Page 42 |
Page 43 |
Page 44 |
Page 45 |
Page 46 |
Page 47 |
Page 48 |
Page 49 |
Page 50 |
Page 51 |
Page 52 |
Page 53 |
Page 54 |
Page 55 |
Page 56