Don’t Worry About Winning
Y
ou’ve probably had a game or a sport that you’ve loved that has utterly frustrated you at times.
Perhaps you’ve smashed pool cues or golf clubs or tennis rackets, screamed with rage, stormed about, and felt totally let down. Winning is on everybody’s mind
when playing and competing; it is natural to put a lot of pressure on yourself. But that pressure is self- defeating. You see, when you’re focused on winning you can’t be focused on the movements of the game itself. You can’t be in two places in your mind at one time. You are either
anxious about winning or you are fully absorbed in the beauty of the moment. What do I mean in
SCHLESSINGER 5 MINUTES
There is such a great feeling
involved in getting ready for each action. I know that feeling when I hit a tennis ball in the sweet spot or shoot a ball across the pool table with ease and accuracy. It is genuinely a lovely feeling. It is
Enjoying the process is success, and winning usually follows.
the beauty of the moment? Watch professional golfers. They will get a stance and hold the
golf club a certain way, taking practice swings, which are almost exactly the same for each shot. They look at the terrain, sense the
wind, get a feel for distance and so on. They are not at all thinking about whether or not they look foolish or might miss. Of course they want to do
their best and hopefully win the tournament. But these professionals’ entire focus is on their “routine” — the behaviors and mind-set they use time and time again to get the ultimate laser-like attention on the task of hitting the ball.
a feeling we should strive to repeat. It cannot, and will not, happen when you are anxious, nervous, obsessed, negative, or frustrated. Perfection is not the goal — consistency is. Keep that in mind. The road to playing any game well and successfully is to really enjoy the “motions” required and to have a set routine that can take you out of your nervousness and put you back into that place of enjoying the feeling of playing the game. When you fi nd
yourself getting in a
bad place fi lled with self-doubt and negativity, you are going to have to play some mind games with yourself. Try something like this: “Oh,
that wasn’t good. What do I need to change? Did I shift my focus at the crucial time?” And while you are running
through this “repair assessment” you should slow down your breathing to a rhythmic and comfortable rate. Avoid looking at how well your
competitor is doing because it isn’t about him or her — it is about you. I personally struggle to keep that
attitude, and there are times I do and times I don’t. Enjoying the process is success, and winning usually follows.
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