LIFE & TRENDS
everyday life is not ever going to be the same.” He also got a new career based on his divorce experience running Mutual Divorce Solutions, a mediation business that helps couples settle their cases out of court. “I don’t make
DISCONNECTED Richard Loebl says some couples feel a sense of distance as they age.
as much money as a mediator, but people’s lives are changed,” he says. In some
newsmax ads 07292011:half page horizontal 7/29/11 6:51 PM Page 1
ways, Caesar had it easy, being in a marriage that he knew simply couldn’t be saved. What’s harder, say the experts, is when there aren’t any slam-dunk
DIVORCE: BABY BOOMER-STYLE
T
he top reasons given for divorce are abuse, lifestyle or value
differences, and cheating. One out of 4 divorcees say they
simply fell out of love with their spouse. More women than men initiate divorce. About 37 percent of those
with children said their kids were supportive of their divorce. Another 17 percent said their kids were simply OK with the decision. SOURCE: AARP survey of mid-life divorce
reasons for leaving. No definitive reasons such as abuse or alcoholism. No mental health issues. They just experience a gnawing sense of unhappiness and failure.
RE-IGNITING THE PASSION Richard Loebl, director of the
Relationship Center of South Florida, says those couples face a challenge, because either way it takes work to land on your feet. “It’s not so much that they come
to me because they’re fighting,” Loebl says, about the middle-age couples he treats. “There’s more a sense of distance and a lack of a connection, both emotional and physical.” For Doares, the North Carolina
therapist, she’s constantly preaching about how a good marriage takes work. “There’s a false perception out there that people either have to have the same boring marriage, or get a divorce,” she says. “Well, there’s a third option. Re-ignite the marriage, or don’t let it die in the first place.” She thinks date night, hokey as it sounds, is the perfect place to start.
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