appears in every picture.” Steve replied, “is the dog aggressive?” The response was “No, but she takes it out of the freezer each visit and spends hours blow drying and grooming it so that it looks good for the photos”. Steve was promoted to the Children’s
Safeguarding Board, developing training and encouraging systemic thinking and practice. He loved supporting and nurturing new social workers and promoting eff ective practice. He fl ourished in this area of work throughout his career. At times, Steve possibly wondered if things could have been diff erent. He had a passion for family therapy and perhaps would have loved to have focused more on this. T is would have been a serious loss to the safeguarding community in East Yorkshire and the thousands of families he supported within his child protection roles. Wendy also reminded me that Steve
was a great singer and guitarist, with an eclectic taste from traditional folk, blues and what he would refer to as ‘tasteful’ country music, preferably Texan singer/songwriters. He travelled to the Southern States of America with his close friend, Bill. They avoided any tourist spots, preferring to follow lines in songs. When a favourite artist, Guy Clark, mentioned the Chilli Parlour Bar in Austin in a much-loved song, Steve and Bill sampled the Mad Dog Margaritas there, in honour of their country hero. Steve liked to travel. He, Wendy, their daughter Jess and son Joe had an apartment in Turkey, overlooking the Mediterranean, surrounded by the Taurus Mountains, which Steve loved to visit until his illness in 2016. When he was ill, Wendy said to me
that Steve would hate to be like this, as he was so optimistic, independent and free spirited. Many people, including his past supervisees, trainees and colleagues, continue to remind me of his spirit and the inf luence he has had upon their practice and their lives. It can feel hopeless as he is no longer with us in person, but it is not serious. He is no longer ill. He continues to make a positive difference to so many people. He does not even have to do any more
work to achieve this, which I think he would see as a win-win situation.
Reference Watzlawick, P. (1993) The Situation is Hopeless But Not Serious (The Pursuit of Unhappiness). New York: Norton.
On 22 October 2020, Hull and East Riding AFT will be hosting a memorial workshop in Steve’s honour entitled, “The situation is hopeless but not serious: A Guide to Structural and Strategic Family Therapy (Don’t try this at home)”. If anyone would like to join us, there will be space to share memories and stories of Steve, and to hear more about theories and techniques which he brought to life. To book a free place contact Andy Stephenson (AFT- HER chairperson) by email:
andy.stephenson@
nhs.net. If the event is postponed until 2021 due to COVID-19, Steve would be smiling and thinking about how much that will intensify the anticipation.
Gary is an independent consultant systemic therapist and supervisor. Gary and Wendy would love to hear any reactions to Steve’s Tribute or stories people may have want to share at
gazrobo1@hotmail.co.uk or on 07837 891318.
Context 170, August 2020
35
The situation is hopeless but not serious: A tribute to Steve Bennett
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