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My Chinese heritage How not to be a Tiger mother!

The BaZi system does not seek to

Chinese parents believe that education is the gateway to a successful career, and so growing up in Malaysia, I was encouraged to excel at school. Although my parents couldn’t afford it, others spent their hard-earned money giving their children extra after-school tuition to boost their exam results. Somehow, I carried these fundamental beliefs within me when I had my own children. I attempted to be a Tiger mother, creating conflict with my western husband. With a limited income and a busy career, I managed to ferry them to ballet, Kumon, tennis and music classes. The ballet teacher told me that she would put out a flag on the day that my daughter managed to do her plié without sticking out her bottom. I sat in on my son’s piano lessons to see his music teacher pointing at a key which he dutifully tapped without looking at the music sheet. One Christmas I bought a flat-

packed desk for my son to do his homework at; he was so excited, as it was the biggest present under the Christmas tree. Upon returning to school after the Christmas break, he was dismayed to find that most of his friends were given an Xbox; it was

certainly pretty uncool to admit to having been given a desk for Christmas! This story would be recounted by him at every family gathering within my earshot! Despite my best efforts, my daughter did not turn out like Darcy Bussel and my son did not play in the Philharmonic Orchestra; somehow they have each found their niche. I must have done a good job given that they ultimately found their path in life. However, over the years of keeping

The right path for your child?

up my quest in the study of classical Feng Shui and BaZi – the Chinese metaphysical sciences – I now have a more holistic outlook. Had I known about BaZi as a young mother, I would have had some understanding of my children’s characters, strengths and weaknesses; it would have given me some idea about where to channel them, adopting a child-led parenting approach rather than attempting to create my dreams through them. Now that I have grandchildren, I look at them with different eyes. Johnny is headstrong and highly strung; looking at his BaZi chart, he has very strong leadership qualities, hence he comes across as bossy and wanting his own way. His brother is much more laid-back and a pleasure to have around. This is due to his earth element; he likes stability and does not take to changes readily. Knowing their characters and personalities not only gives me a better understanding but it also enriches my relationship with them.


tell you what to do but it gives you an insight into your child’s positive and negative traits; understanding your child’s unique behaviour, what he or she is capable of, and areas of limitations, you can implement the right input to channel and guide. This knowledge gives you an added advantage instead of relying on guess work; knowing what to expect, you can take active steps in an intelligent, pragmatic and wise manner to channel your child on his or her chosen path in life. Being informed allows you to understand your child and ultimately to be in a position to help him or her make better choices in life.

Jo Mitchell (also known as Xiao Qin)

Attune your mind’s eye to the possibilities of BaZi for your child

Jo Mitchell is a Feng Shui/BaZi consultant and a practising health professional. She has worked professionally with children and families for many years. Jo believes that BaZi can add another dimension to traditional parenting practices and is keen to help parents explore their children’s potential and limitations based on their BaZi profile.

Jo teaches basic Mandarin and offers Feng Shui & BaZi consultations. She is based in the Chilterns.

E-mail: Mobile: 07595 507068 Tel: 01494 783189

Channel Your Child A Gift for Parents

To request a FREE information sheet on BaZi for your child please contact Jo Mitchell

Mobile: 07595 507068 Email:

“Parents may not always pass their assets on to their children. They should, however, pass on their compassion, morality and faith”. Dharma words of Venerable Master Hsing Yun

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