Last word
Helen Burge is learning new ways of dealing with change
B
y the time you read this article, I should be a couple of months into a new life – one without my boys
under the same roof as me. My husband and I will have become ‘empty nesters’. Obviously, we knew it was likely to happen and when it was likely to happen, but, as with many changes in life and work, that doesn’t mean you actually want it to happen. It’s not what happens to you, but
how you react to it that matters. Epictetus Well, much of my reaction has
been unplanned and emotional – photos of my boys as cute little toddlers always set me off. My youngest enjoys springing these on me, laughing at my reaction and then giving me the best of hugs. (I can’t help thinking this may also be a coping strategy for him!) And recently, we were all happily singing
along as we watched Mamma Mia!, when I was rendered mute as the mother and daughter (Donna and Sophie) started singing Slipping Through My Fingers during preparations for Sophie’s wedding. There’s also my planned reaction.
I’m really looking forward to decorating bedrooms and replacing the hall carpet. Decorating will be so much easier when we have more space to shift things around in while the work is being done. Also, when my youngest celebrated his 18th, he ‘decorated’ the hallway in his own unique style, so a new carpet is very much required. At work we strategically plan an
event, a project, a change process, but there is always something that takes you by surprise. And it’s often those surprises – and how you react to them – that people later recall as an anecdote or even measure the success of the project by.
If you’re struggling with change of
any kind, it’s worth sharing your feelings and responses with others going through a similar life experience. Despite my husband’s claims, I’m sure he will, at some point, have a reaction to the realisation that after 20 years as a family of four, we’ve gone back to just the two of us in the house. There are parents up and down the country going through the same thing, so we know the transition will work given time. But how are we going to cope in the meantime? In the wise words of Baldrick, ‘I have a cunning plan’. My husband and I are going to: n walk the South West coastal path (not all at once!) n visit the boys at least once before Christmas and take them out for a meal (plus perform wellbeing and Health and Safety checks) n meet up with old friends and have new laughs. One way to deal with change is
to accept that there might be stages to the transition, a bit like the phases in big maintenance projects during Term 7. Know too that some stages may be more disruptive than others. It can help to make small tweaks and adjustments and then reflect honestly on how they make you feel, before taking another careful step forward. And then, suddenly, time can
start to speed up. We all know how quickly Christmas comes round after the supermarket ‘Back to school’ signs come down, so it won’t be much longer before I have a full nest again.
Helen Burge is deputy chief operations officer at The Priory Learning Trust and SRMA with Cotswold Beacon Academy Trust. @DeputyCOOatTPLT
58 AUTUMN 2021 FundEd
IMAGES: НАДЕЖДА ПЕХОВА; COLEMATT/
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