FAMILY
‘‘Collectively throughout the UK, Andy’s Man Club has helped thousands of men. On their most attended night, 896 men walked through the door into various clubs across the country.’’
everyone is equal and we don’t discriminate. It takes courage for a man to admit they need help and step through that door.
“Listening to other people’s stories also helps put your own issues into context. We’ve had men talk about their wives or children dying and I’m sat there thinking, ‘God, I’m lucky I only lost my job.’ But no individual problem or situation is trivial.” You may not think it, but everyone you meet is going through a storm. Some dark clouds may be similar to your own, so don’t fear being left alone without that umbrella of support when it rains. It’s also not just about men with suicidal thoughts. People use AMC to talk about all manner of things from stress and anxiety, to grief after bereavement, or even unexplained anger that is causing issues within their personal lives. There are not many topics that are off the table, other than debate-causing religion, politics and medication which are part of AMC’s house rules.
Relationships and families play a big part in mental health issues, along with health anxieties or stresses such as infertility and impotency. Some may have financial or work worries and feel like the weight of their world around them balances on their shoulders alone. Men suffer with PTSD, eating disorders, confidence issues and struggles around their sexuality – a range of problems that can be overwhelming and leave them feeling unable to cope. But men are less likely to reach out to others and more likely to reach for the bottle when those problems arise.
Whether you’re a heterosexual male or from the LGBTQ+ community, men across the
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spectrum are living with their own problems and Andy’s Man Club is there to make sure nobody feels alone in this world.
As long as you’re respectful and mindful of others, anyone is welcome – except women. There has only ever been one woman attend a group and that was Andy’s mum, Elaine, who went to the initial meeting in Halifax in 2016 and decided from then on Andy’s Man Club would be a refuge for men only where they could feel comfortable to talk openly to their peers without women there.
The sessions are based on five questions asked individually to everyone who turns up. Three of these are the same each week: how’s your week been? What are the positives from this week? Anything you’d like to get off your chest? The other two vary and could be anything from what goals you’re setting for the week ahead or what you appreciate in life and why, aimed to make you think positively about the future. And there is no right or wrong answer. As cliché as it sounds, honesty is the best policy. If you’ve had a rough week, get the debris off your chest and move forward. We could also learn from AMC to start using those principles in everyday scenarios to get people talking more, regardless of gender. Ask those at work how their weekend has been, what positives your friends have achieved this week, or if your partner or family member has anything to get off their chest.
We can all try a little harder to do a little better. Jason and Ray, like all the AMC facilitators, are both volunteers who dedicate their Monday nights to ensuring men have someone to talk to. Collectively throughout the UK, Andy’s Man Club has helped thousands of men, averaging around 900 each week. Yes, some men may have needed a gentle shove by their partners or parents, children or friends, but as Jason says, men need to do it to help themselves.
“I was in the darkest hole I could be in two years ago but I’m glad I found Andy’s Man Club. I proved I could get out relatively unscathed and looking back I’m glad I went through what I did, losing everything, as I wouldn’t be where I am or doing what I do today without being at that breaking point.”
If you want to join the conversation, follow their Facebook page to find out how to join in the virtual sessions and when the meetings at The Centre Brinsworth will be back up and running again.
@Andys-Man-Club-Rotherham
www.andysmanclub.co.uk
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