FAMILY


move online. But with the state of the current world and the devastation this year has caused, the service has been more in-demand than ever as men are faced with crippling mental health worries.


Suicide is the biggest killer of men under 45. In Rotherham, the suicide rate is greater than the national average and the highest in South Yorkshire, with males accounting for three quarters of these deaths, peaking at the 45 to 49 age bracket. For Jason, he knew all too well how one event, one unexpected curveball, could trigger a downward spiral into an abyss of self-destruction with the fear of no way out.


Originally from Hull and with three grown-up children, two years ago aged 42, Jason’s long- term relationship broke down. Because of this, he lost his job, then his friends and family, until he was at rock bottom.


Jason says, although he has a nursing background and was used to trauma, he’d been relatively ignorant to depression.


“I’d always had this attitude of being the man of the house and having to ‘man up’ when I was having an off-day. I have the gift of the gab, am talkative and very much a leader. In my job as a social worker, I’d wear this mask of confidence to support others and bury my own feelings away. “But at my lowest point the mask just dissolved. I became so low and anxious I couldn’t even get out of bed. It was debilitating.” With most of his friends forged through work


and his ex-partner, Jason says when those parts of his life were taken away, he was left feeling isolated.


But it hit home that he was living precariously on a knife-edge when a close friend took his own life. Jason went down all the right mental health routes by visiting his GP and seeing a counsellor but says for him it felt like a box-ticking exercise. To complement his therapy sessions, Jason went along to Andy’s Man Club in Hull which he says changed his outlook on life. “I always say it’s my reset button and part


‘‘It doesn’t matter what issues you’re dealing with or what background you have; all that matters is that your voice matters. And what happens at Andy’s Man Club stays at Andy’s Man Club.’’


of my routine. Those Monday night meetings help me deal with any rubbish I’ve had the week before and start the new week more positively. We share the highs and lows with tears and laughter which seems to evaporate the bad parts and helps me look forward to the week ahead.” Last September, Jason relocated to the


Dearne Valley to manage a new care home for disabled children. But he didn’t want to lose that reset button and, with Sheffield being the closest group to him, decided to join forces with Ray, who had been going to the Sheffield meetings, to offer another outlet in South Yorkshire. It could be fair to say we still have a very stereotypical ‘macho’ image in some parts of South Yorkshire with an industrial legacy and strong cultures of pitmen, engineers and steel workers. The men of today may have been brought up being told to ‘grow a pair’ or ‘pull yourself together.’


But society is changing and evolving. It’s okay to talk. It’s okay to cry.


The heavyweight champion of the world,


Tyson Fury, spoke openly on national TV about his struggles with depression and suicidal thoughts. Football clubs such as Leeds United and Exeter City are wearing the AMC logo on their training tops to raise awareness. And a big burly rugby lad like Luke is offering you a coffee and a friendly ear to listen.


So, surely other blokes can help break down barriers and stigma surrounding men’s mental health by simply talking about their personal


Football clubs such as Leeds United and Exeter City wear the AMC logo on their training tops to raise awareness


problems. “AMC is real and raw. There are no airs and graces – we’re men after all – so there can be a few choice words but it’s our way of getting our emotions out. We don’t sugar-coat it,” Jason says.


The Rotherham support group encompasses a range of men from directors of multi-million- pound companies to those battling drug addictions. It doesn’t matter what issues you’re dealing with or what background you have; all that matters is that your voice matters. And what happens at Andy’s Man Club stays at Andy’s Man Club.


No details are kept and there is no registration. While Jason and Ray are there for support, there is no pressure or obligation to join in.


But most, if not all, do talk, and many return weekly if necessary.


“There has only ever been one guy I met who didn’t talk for two weeks and after that we couldn’t shut him up which was brilliant to see. We hold onto our emotions so tightly, but you can feel them draining away. Every week without fail we’ve had a man cry but they still come back to us. “AMC gives men an outlet and an opportunity to talk without ridicule, shame, judgement or embarrassment. We’re a brotherhood where


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