8 • September 2017 • UPBEAT TIMES, INC. Oysters and Kids


Healdsburg, CA. ~ We were at a friend’s gathering. There were a lot of people there, lots of food and drink and we noticed a guy was barbecuing oysters. We love oysters, and thus so do our children. My girls wanted to get in line right away.


As were stand- ing in line, the girls were being very patient, a man in a group of other men staggered over to the oyster line and when


he saw our kids he said, not aimed at us, but he was a little tipsy so he is speaking way too loud. “What are kids do- ing in this line kids don’t eat oysters. What are they doing in line? My oldest daughter leaned toward my ear and whispered, “We are trying to


by Gabriel A. Fraire ~ gafraire@comcast.net


avoid loud mouthed people.” As we get close to the bar- becue pit the man seemed to intensify his objections. “I bet those kids don’t even eat those oysters.”


My youngest daughter, who never tolerates fools, finally had enough and she turned to the man and said, “How much do you want to bet?”


The man was star- tled but his buddies started laughing at him. He said, “What you got kid?”


At that point we


were next in line. “I’ll bet you my oyster against yours my sister can swallow that oyster in one gulp.” The man looked incredulous, “You’re on kid.”


My oldest daughter stepped up to the get her serving. She grabbed some tabasco, sprin-


Gabriel A. Fraire has been a writer more than 45 years. He has written fiction and non-fiction books, plays, po- ems, music lyrics, and news articles. But, he writes about his children exclusively for the Upbeat Times.


kled it on top, tilted back her head and slurped down the oyster.


My youngest daughter then turned to the guy barbecu- ing the oysters and she said, “We’ll take his too.” The loud mouth that was behind us just sort of snarled. Then he turned to the guy barbecuing and held out his hand expect- ing an oyster. The guy bar- becuing said to him, “Back of the line, you just lost your oyster to the girls.”


Everybody in line laughed loudly, my daughters and I just walked away.


For the Purrfect cup of Coffee...Go to Coffee Catz in Sebastopol!


RESERVE SPACE TODAY IN ONE OF THE MOST POSITIVE HAPPENING PAPERS IN


NORTH AMERICA!


RECIVE 30% OFF OPEN RATE (3 ADS OR MORE) ANY SIZE! REACH OVER 100,000 PEOPLE!


RECIEVE 3 FREE


DIGITAL ADS(VALUE $300), 3 FREE DIGITAL LINKS (VALUE $90) WITH PURCHASE.


OFFER VALID THROUGH SEPTEMBER 30TH, 2017.


CALL


707-494-1767 (Paul)


Upbeat’s HOLIDAY


GIFT GUIDES ARRIVE SOON! OCTOBER, NOVEMBER & DECEMBER.


JOKES & Humor # 4


For a period, Houdini used a trap door in every single show he did…I guess you could say it was a stage he was going through.


~


A farm lady was showing her place to her neighbor farmer, who had a bent toward wit and mischief. ~


She showed him her sheep and other stock, but just as they were entering the house, she exclaimed, “Dear me, you have not seen my calf, sir!”


“No, ma’am,” said the farmer. “I never saw higher than your ankle.”


Fiori’s Buns & Burgers is better than Ever! Same Great Burgers & More!


(formerly Big Boys Buns & Burgers)


New! Char-Broiled Burgers!


New buns from Costeaux French Bakery and same awesome buns from Franco American Bakery.


406 Larkfield Center • Santa Rosa, CA • 546-6835 8 • September 2017 • UPBEAT TIMES, INC. “Remove whatever you no longer need in your life, to make room for what you do need in your life.” ~ Avis J. Williams


Page 1  |  Page 2  |  Page 3  |  Page 4  |  Page 5  |  Page 6  |  Page 7  |  Page 8  |  Page 9  |  Page 10  |  Page 11  |  Page 12  |  Page 13  |  Page 14  |  Page 15  |  Page 16  |  Page 17  |  Page 18  |  Page 19  |  Page 20  |  Page 21  |  Page 22  |  Page 23  |  Page 24  |  Page 25  |  Page 26  |  Page 27  |  Page 28  |  Page 29  |  Page 30  |  Page 31  |  Page 32