Parenting styles MM
Ccultures ombining
As families, we all love to travel to experience different cultures, but what’s it like to be part of a household that comprises two nationalities? MM finds out…
If there’s one adjective that best describes journalist and editor Astrid Madsen, it has to be ‘well travelled’! Born in the south of France, Astrid was raised in Haiti, Paris, Bordeaux, Los Angeles and New York, which is where she finally stayed put for university. Still not ready to put down roots, Astrid then moved to Spain to learn the
language and to start her career. It was there, while working in a bar, that she met future husband and fellow bartender-slash-manager, Tony. ‘We moved to stay with my parents for a few months,' Astrid told MM,
'but quickly realised that even though the south of France was a great place to holiday, it wasn’t the best place to find a job.’ And so they packed their bags for Tony’s homeland of Ireland, where
they’ve now lived since 2004. ‘We subsequently got married, had our kids - Jack and Ella - bought a
house and settled in the midlands. I have to say I love living here. My only wish is to be able to travel more often for doses of sunshine! The culture and the fact that much of Tony's family lives here, including his parents, are the reasons we haven’t left,’ she says. ‘But Tony is just as travel hungry as I am, maybe more now that we live in his home country, which probably means we haven’t ruled out the possibility of starting afresh. Experiencing different cultures is something we are trying to instil in our children from a young age.’ So, how do Astrid and Tony combine their Franco-Irish heritages? ‘As I’ve found with other bilingual families where two languages are
spoken at home,’ she continues, ‘the kids tend to favour the language they’re most exposed to. Tony and I speak in English and Tony always speaks English to the kids since that’s his native tongue. The children are also in crèche every working day. I only speak French to the children (Jack is five and Ella is two), and, while they invariably respond in English (bar a few words such as médicament), they fully understand when I speak to them. Jack is gradually cottoning on to the fact that I’m translating the books I’m reading to him from English to French and he asks me not to do that. He refers to English as ‘your language’ and asks that I read it ‘in Ireland’ instead of ‘en français.’ He is starting to spontaneously count in French though, so the brainwashing is working to some extent! As with most aspects of parenting, I have found that consistency and persistence, whilst draining, do pay dividends. ‘I wouldn’t say we’re actually raising the kids to be bilingual. We just want
them to be exposed to the French language so they can eventually speak it if they want to. I have toyed with the idea of home schooling for French grammar/classes but I can’t really see it happening considering how busy life is with both of us working full time. My family back home is, needless to say, very keen that they speak French. I know the answer is to visit them more often, which we plan to do.’ When it comes to differences between the Irish way of raising kids and the French way, Astrid surprisingly thinks there are few.
Photo credit: Dermot Byrne photography ‘French and Irish child-rearing methods probably
aren’t that different. When I look at it now, I can see generational differences more than cultural ones. I do agree, however, with the French tradition of allowing kids to have a taste of very good wine once in a while. Jack doesn’t indulge as he hates any form of alcohol, although you have to watch Ella – she would drain your glass if you let her.’ Astrid is adamant that her kids know about what is,
in effect, 50 per cent of their culture. ‘I’m very keen that my kids keep in touch with, and
remember, the people in France and in the rest of the world that are dear to us. So I spend a lot of time showing them where my family members - and Tony's - live on the map or globe. I also sing French nursery rhymes to them and tell them about French traditions for holidays, such as the church bells bringing the eggs at Easter rather than a bunny. In terms of food, Tony is a keen cook so thankfully he has more of an influence than I do as I’m not nearly as good in the kitchen!’ she laughs.
The Madsens on a recent family trip to Los Angeles.
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