Relationships MM
Ding ding!
‘Come and see,’ she said, ‘we’ve had a family portrait taken.’ I have to admit that, when I saw it, I took
a step back. There they were, all three of them – proud mum and dad and beautiful baby – all dressed in white, with a white voile background and seated on a white fur rug. It looked, I thought, like heaven, which is, after all, where my friend feels that she is at the moment! ‘Isn’t it just perfect,’ she swooned.
‘It’s idyllic…’ Now, far be it for me to be cynical, but at
that moment I cast my mind back to the same period in my own life, where a photographer could equally have created this shot in my own home. If I’d invited him back a couple of months later, it would have been a slightly different scene. ‘Heaven’ would, I’m afraid, have been replaced by – well not exactly hell – but with what I’ll simply call ‘reality’. The simple fact is that, when you have a
child, your relationship with your partner or husband changes and it’s no longer all about hearts and flowers; wispy, idyllic
by Debbie Orme
Three rounds you’ll definitely go…
A few weeks ago I visited the house of a friend who’d just given birth to her first baby a few months before.
moments spent together in sheer unadulterated bliss. No, it’s about whose turn it is to empty the dishwasher, whose turn it is to pace the floorboard with a colicky, distressed baby, whose turn it is to take the bin out….you get the idea? Here are three of the most common
battlefields post-baby. Recognise any of them? Sex. Yip, that old favourite! The thing is
that, once you’ve had a child, your priorities change. Simple. Where once you could laze about on Sundays, lying in, bringing breakfast to bed, languidly enjoying the joys of togetherness, it’s now a matter of one of you (probably you) having to get up to answer the call of your baby, who doesn’t know that daddy was expecting a wee ‘tryst’ with mummy and who simply wants fed. Where once daddy enjoyed mummy giving him a massage with fragranced oils, leading on to well, ahem, daddy is now sitting – alone – in bed, ever so slightly irritated that, instead of enjoying the delights of ylang ylang, it’s
baby who’s enjoying having mummy massage vapour rub into his chest. So, how do you overcome this hurdle?
Well, a survey by researchers at Penn State University in ?, USA, found that, following foreplay, the optimal amount of time for sex is a paltry seven minutes, so you don’t need to worry about entertaining a pre-baby sex marathon. With a bit of foreplay, such as a snog or a light massage, seven minutes or should have you both home in a boat – possibly more relaxed and feeling the benefits of a ‘wee bit of activity’. You may even catch 40 winks and awake refreshed. Sleep – or lack of it – is another major
bone of contention between new parents. Any new mum will tell you that you almost develop a sixth sense that allows you to hear every time that your baby even half yawns at night, let alone screams! While this extra-sensory hearing is a fab skill to have, the downside is that it comes at the expense of your sleep. Put simply, you can’t have highly-developed auditory skills AND be fast asleep!
> Modernmum 17
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