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FIRST PERSON


Aleksey’s been a banya specialist for eight years and came second in the 2013 Russian Banya Champaionships


BRAVING THE BANYA A


s I lie on a bed of pine leaves, sweating profusely in an 80˚C sauna while a burly


Russian smacks my bare buttocks with a scolding bundle of twigs, I begin to understand that a banya experience is a little more extreme than your typical spa session. I’m at Fox Lodge, a 2,000sq m


(21,527sq ft) lakeside spa 45km north of Moscow, where wealthy Russians – there’s a helipad on-site for anyone with an aversion to traffi c – venture for a relaxing weekend away from the city. Treatments range from the standard massage/facial set-up through to a mineral-based salt cave where vaporised salt, with antibacterial proper- ties, is used to tackle infections. The main emphasis is on results over relaxation, a common trait in Russian spas.


BRANCHING OUT After a brief tour, I’m introduced to banya specialist Aleksey – the man who’s about to guide me through the most painful two hours of my life. We begin with tea and I’m


Jak Phillips fi nds out that ‘no pain, no gain’ is par for the course in a traditional Russian sauna experience


given the choice of rosemary, lemon balm or sage. Opting for the rosemary scent, I’m told this indicates I’m lacking energy and that Aleksey – who’s now changing into his special homemade apron and felt hat to guard against the impending heat – will tailor my session accordingly. A banya is an age-old Russian spa


tradition. The basic premise is to encour- age healing and circulatory wellness by alternating between hot and cold tem- perature. The steam, which is generated from eucalyptus-infused water poured over scorching stones, heats the sauna to between 60-90˚C, with its menthol vapour soothing the lungs and respiratory system. The small sauna is built from cedar and pine – revered in Russian culture for their


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healing virtues. I’m instructed, through grunting and gesturing, to lie face-down on a bench. Once prone, pine branches


soaked in iced water are placed beneath and on top of my head, while Aleksey scuttles off to fetch his fenik – the bundle of birch twigs he will use to spank me


with. I’d like to say it’s a painless, pleasant experience, but I’d be lying. The fenik is intermittently dipped


in piping hot water, before the searing droplets are shaken over my pink skin. The branches are then brushed against my body, lightly at fi rst, but soon noticeably harder, until I can feel the breath rush out of my lungs with each thwack. I learn later on that birch is a symbol


of beauty in Russian folklore, “so to become beautiful, you have to be beaten with it”. Interesting logic. Banya truly is a case of no pain, no


gain. Every inch of my body – front, back and sides – is given a good going over in a bid to stimulate my lymphatic system and excrete the industrial strength vodka


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