UNDERCOVERCOACH


Handling Conflict PART 3: RESPONDING WELL TO CONFLICTS WE CANNOT AVOID


DIFFERENT TYPES OF CONFLICT SITUATIONS


When I have asked in the past what different types of conflict situations are being faced by people in the workplace – the following list emerged:


1 Serious disagreements with management, clients, colleagues and staff over decisions, policies and practices


2 Disciplinary matters where the accused person feels strongly about the issue


3 Serious disagreements with another person who is a more confident speaker


4 Disagreements with staff over what constitutes poor performance or bad behaviour


5 Bullying and harassment when both are seen as OK behaviour by the other person


6 Disciplinary Matters where the person ‘in the wrong’ is argumentative or in denial


TYPICAL SUCCESSFUL RESPONSES TO CONFLICT SITUATIONS When I have asked - what are successful responses to conflict situations in the workplace – the following list (a mixture of prevention and cure) emerges:


1 Explaining confidently why certain tasks are done in certain ways. In one case it took a professional two years before management finally stopped bullying him and gave him the respect he deserved. He puts this down to managers feeling that they must be right. They no longer feel that way and are now prepared to negotiate over big decisions.


2 Stick to protocol and go through procedures in a ‘matter of fact’ way. In the case of people lying about their lateness or last minute sick absences this involved listening to all sorts of excuses, but the manager focused on the problem and not the ‘difficult’ personality that the individual possessed.


3 Listen to all complaints whether they seem justified or not and no matter from whom they emanate. In the case of work team conflicts caused by people feeling exploited or treated unfairly - resolving these issues should be seen as an opportunity, not a chore. Turning a blind eye to small misdemeanours only leads to bigger misdemeanours and a lack of trust. Work groups must have tight and equitable supervision.


4 Clear work instructions that are up to date with legislation and best practice. These should be developed to protect all staff and assets. For example, new staff should use checklists to ensure that they perform their duties safely and correctly.


One manager I surveyed reported to me that he subscribed to the ‘Brian Clough School of Management’. ‘If someone disagrees with me we talk it over; I listen to his point of view – then we agree that I was right all along.’


The same, very confident, person also explained that some of his more difficult senior managers were only around for a short time. Because of this he believed that sometimes it can even work to just wait until they leave.


Let’s look now at some sensible approaches we can all take to resolve conflict at work. I want to start with an agenda that either side can suggest for a ‘face to face’ discussion.


CRITICAL STEPS – AN AGENDA TO BE ‘FOLLOWED’ TO ACHIEVE A POSITIVE OUTCOME


1 Clarify everyone’s views / needs / wishes


2 Accept* views / needs / wishes 3 Look for creative solutions 4 Resolve by agreeing solution


*It should be pointed out that ‘accepting’ that someone has a valid viewpoint is not the same as agreeing that they are right. A lot of conflict arises and is perpetuated when people feel that have been put ‘in the wrong’.


Most people do not claim to be right ‘all of the time’ but no one ever wants to be ‘in the wrong’ over anything! Being ‘put in the wrong’ makes people feel very uncomfortable and defensive.


By accepting that they have a right to a viewpoint we avoid putting people in the wrong and reduce at a stroke a major cause of conflict between people.


Now let’s look at ways we can prepare for and respond effectively to a conflict at work that we perhaps cannot avoid.


14


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