The Conscious Parent:
A New Way to Parent
however, is this: change must first reside within the parent and only secondarily within the child.
When we parent with the under- standing that our children are born to us to create profound internal change within us and are open and willing to engage in this change-process, the axis upon which the parent-child dynamic rests shifts. Now, the onus is not on “creating” one’s child or seeing one’s child as a canvass upon which to paint one’s egoic desires, wants and fantasies, but instead on allowing one’s child to lead the way to a more enlightened presence of being: ours.
By: Shefali Tsabary, PhD
Traditionally, we have been raised to believe that parenting is all about raising the perfect child. This notion of parenting is archaic. Dated. It is time to change this paradigm and embrace a more en- lightened way of parenting. A more conscious and spiritually liberated approach.
The new way to parent doesn’t seek perfection in either the self or the other. In fact, such a word in itself is considered oppressive. Instead, the new paradigm looks for differ- ent jewels: authenticity, growth and transformation. The main caveat
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It is when we parents are able to seize the spiritual lessons our children teach us, we are able to shed our rigid roles and egoic patterns and enter a new way of relating and living. Our chil- dren expose us to our limitations and our capacity for transcendence like no other. Through them we are able to see how we have yet to grow. We see our hunger for control, domina- tion and power in ways that we might ordinarily have been unaware of. At the same time, we are also able to see how generous, compassionate and patient we are. They teach us how to be more spontaneous, authentic and present. Or ... how we have lost our own ability to be?
When we engage in the possibility that all of this - all of life - is really all about our growth and evolution, then every interaction with another be- comes yet another opportunity to dip within the self and introspect on how exactly it is we are meant to grow. So it is a thousand times more with our children. It is because we are given the opportunity to engage with their spirits moment after moment after moment that it is precisely here that we are provided with endless portals for change.
Aug/Sept 2011
There is no other being with whom we will be given such an opportunity for intimacy as with our children. There is no one else who will allow us to enter into their space and dance as close as they do. It is for this reason that we must take the greatest care to engage this respon- sibility with the highest awareness and mindfulness. The more control we have, the greater is our respon- sibility to mine this control. The greater our sense of ownership over our children, the greater our obliga- tion to see this as an illusion. The diamonds of spiritual living lie in our children’s lap. We need look no further than this relationship.
If we listen to our children carefully - truly listen - we will discover that parenting is hardly about raising our children but raising ourselves .
Shefali Tsabary, Ph.D., received her doctorate in Clinical Psychology from Columbia University, New York. Dr. Shefali was exposed to Eastern mindfulness at an early age and integrates its teachings with Western psychology. It is this blend of East and West that allows her to reach a wide audience around the world. Her ability to appeal to both a psychologically astute audience and a consciousness- driven one, marks her as one of a kind.
www.globalid.com
“ … is a wonderful contribution to a deeper inquiry into what it means to parent well. Bringing body, mind and spirit into a new parental paradigm is essential, and The Conscious Parent helps us get there.” – Marianne Wil- liamson
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