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Self-Respect, Self-Esteem, and Self-Worth


By Sanaya Roman


What is required to feel good about yourself is not the same from person to person. What you require for self-esteem is not necessarily what another person requires. It is important to discov- er what makes you feel worthy, confident, and happy about who you are.


Self-respect at the highest levels comes from honoring your soul. This means speaking and acting from a level of integrity and honesty that reflects your higher self. It means standing by what you believe in (you do not, however, have to convince others to believe in it), and acting in a way that reflects your values. Many of you criticize others for


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not living up to a value system you consider right, but on closer examination you may not be living up to it yourself. You have seen the person who is always telling people how they should act, but he or she does anything he or she pleases. Self-respect means act- ing on your values and what you say you believe in.


Professing one set of values but acting from another leads to a lot of internal conflict. For instance, you may believe in monogamy deep inside, and yet the person you are with wants an open rela- tionship. You decide to go along because you want to hold on to this partner. You believe in one set of values, but you are living by


Aug/Sept 2011


another, and there will be a lot of conflict and potential pain around this issue.


How can you know if the values you “think” you want to live by are yours? You often cannot know until you try. You might think that a good person gets up early in the morning, yet you always sleep late. Many of you have values you think you should live by but do not. The best thing to do is to try out these values — get up early in the morning for a while. Often, what you think are your values turn out to be “shoulds” given to you by others, and when you actually live them, you find they do not work for you. Ask yourself what you value. What do you


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