THE GUESTLIST NETWORK | SEPTEMBER 2010
HITCH 133: DANNY BREAKS HIS BACK
In 2009 I embarked on an epic hitchhike across New Zealand, one of the last corners of the world where the practise is commonplace. Nearly a year and 142 lifts later and I have in my notebooks a fascinating insight into the Kiwi demographic- lawyers, drug dealers, future rugby stars, Polynesian fishermen, Australia haters and drive thru members...
Danny wound down his car window and entered my life when I was at a severe low point- lost, tired, sun- burnt and confused. I knew noth- ing about the small town of Paeroa other than it looked green on a map, and that tomorrow would be an easy hitch into Auckland. Unfortunately for me, Paeroa is also host to an an- nual gathering of leather clad motor enthusiasts. I couldn’t hear myself think over the noise. I stood watch- ing a queue of steaming traffic and felt like crying. Then a small, muscu- lar man called Danny came to the rescue. -You look like you could use a swim, mate. Danny is sitting on a beach towel, his bare chest and arms eased up away from the steering wheel. When he smiles it runs from his eye- creases all the way over his shaved head. The car smells of petrol and cigarettes. Danny lights a Malboro, glances at the mirrors and takes a small road off to a place neither of us have been to before: the Karan- gahake Gorge. There are a few cars and bikes parked in the shade of a grove of trees, and we pull up. The road is deceptively high above the water. We (me and several other jumpers) then enjoyed a fantastic hour of leaping of the rocks and thumping down into the freezing water. We knew the unspoken rules: wait for your turn, jump high (don’t plop) and aim for the white ripple left by the previous jumper. However, we had in our midst a showman. Danny was bored. He leapt high, flipped once, twice, and then hit the water hard. His head bobbed up to our ap- plause, and he paddled off into the distance. We continued jumping,
and each time I surfaced I was aware of Danny’s wet figure scrambling higher up in the rocks. We stopped jumping. Danny towered over us on the other side of the gorge, his arms out- stretched in a Christ-like spread. He leapt high, hung in the air next to the sun and then plummeted down, hitting the water with a loud crack. His head bobbed up, his face screwed in pain. - Fuck! He screamed. -I hit a fuckin’ rock!
We watched in horror as he paddled in a painfully slow manner to the side, crawled out and vomited noisily. As he began his accent I made an ig- norant diagnosis: Danny is walking- climbing, even- therefore he hasn’t broken his back. One day this could make a funny story. He sat with his hands supporting his head and told us his vision was turning fizzy. He could read my fingers in front of his face, but to both sides was a black void. Despite his best efforts to take the keys, I insisted on driv- ing him to hospital. He crashed out on the back seat and began to tell me about all the stupid things he had done in his life. He was on first name terms with the receptionist at A & E, who sat me down with a magazine whilst Danny, groaning, was lead away. An hour later and a nurse popped her head round the door; Danny wanted to say goodbye to the hitch- hiker. The following scene is my final memory of Danny: propped up in a hospital bed, still wrapped (only in
TRAVEL 21
my imagination,
perhaps) in a wet beach towel. His X-ray showed a shattered coccyx. We exchange contact details. Dan- ny is an idiot. (A few months later and Danny has made a full recovery. He vows never to do anything stupid ever again.)
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THE ULTIMATE DRINKING GAME
If you’re looking for a game that does exactly what it says on the tin (well packet in this case) then look no further “The drinking game” is here. These decks of cards are full of different tasks and challenges, that even the best drinkers will have a problem with. Now I’m a light- weight and my weakness was ex- posed to the fullest. This game is full of twists and turns and cards such as “waterfall” which involves the players all standing up and drinking until the person besides them calls it quits!!
Whilst playing this game with all of my friends there was never a dull moment. The “back at ya” and the “nominate” cards were the ones that caused a spark of excitement and
curiosity – who knew a game that contains only 11 variations of a card will cause so much drama!! The most dangerous card of the game is the “Game over” card!! There are only four of them in the pack and they hold the most power. As the games goes on, the game over cards are reducing and when it’s down to the last one in the pack its natural to panic. But I guess your wondering why this is? Let me tell you. Every time the card is drawn, all players must pour some of the contents of their drink into the cup in the centre of the table – now the last card is drawn and the unlucky person has to drink it ALL – bot- toms up!!
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