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ou know how when you were about two hours into last year’s Emmy Awards broadcast, you came to the definite decision that what the show needed was about 16 fluid ounces of weed killer scientifically administered to all the winners? Because if there’s one thing worse than an hours- long trophy show in which well- heeled hams regale us with stories of their profound gratitude to their agents, it’s watching a rerun of that show. Which, coincidentally, perfectly describes last year’s Emmy Awards, in which:  “30 Rock” won its third consecutive Emmy for best comedy.  “Mad Men” logged its second consecutive best-drama Emmy.  “The Amazing Race” nailed its seventh win for best reality series.  “The Daily Show” copped its seventh win as best variety series.  Alec Baldwin, Bryan Cranston and Glenn Close all bagged their second consecutive best-acting wins. Nominees for this year’s


Primetime Emmy Awards will be unveiled Thursday morning — and, if we’re lucky, an infusion of interesting new shows, such as ABC’s “Modern Family,” Fox’s “Glee” and FX’s “Sons of Anarchy,” will break up the logjam at the Emmy ceremony in late August. But why leave it to chance? What this trophy show needs is — new categories! Here are some to get us beyond the usual suspects. Best “Tonight Show” Conan O’Brien has submitted his work on NBC’s “The Tonight Show” for Emmy consideration in the category of best variety series, supported by a major marketing campaign financed by his new employer, TBS. But NBC submitted Jay Leno on “Tonight Show” in the same category. We’ll find out Thursday if both men are nominated. If they are — ratings gold on Emmy night! Sadly, the odds are slim, given


that the field is congested with perennial nominees, including Comedy Central’s “The Colbert Report,” CBS’s “Late Show With David Letterman” and NBC’s “Saturday Night Live.” This new category would have fixed that. Best Swan Song “Lost” fans are like volcanoes


that need to be fed virgins periodically to keep them from


TELEVISION Y


KLMNO


TV NEWS ONLINE From TV’s top shows to industry buzz, get the latest television news in the TV Column blog at washingtonpost.com/tvcolumn.


Let’s pump some life into Emmys with new, improved categories MARIO ANZUONI/REUTERS


CUT OUT: Neil Patrick Harris hosted the Emmys last year, but the academy scratched the category that he could’ve been nominated in.


THE TV COLUMN Lisa de Moraes


erupting. The cult show’s final season might get nominated for best drama series, but why chance it? Safer to give “Lost” its own category, where it will be competing in a lightweight field including the likes of “Ugly Betty,” a lousy season of “24,” “Law & Order” and “ ’Til Death.” Best Use of a World War It’s a well-known fact that the TV academy has a soft spot for war, bestowing a plethora of Emmys to gorgeously shot, emotionally charged movies and miniseries, including 1989’s “War and Remembrance” and 2002’s “Band of Brothers,” to name two. So this year, CBS’s “The Amazing Race” is playing the world war card in an insidious bid to maintain its death grip on the Reality Competition Series category, which it has won every year since the category was created. The move anticipates the slim chance that another program could take “Amazing


Race” down. “American Idol” has submitted its glutinous season finale episode for consideration, and academy members are also known to have a weakness for glutinous Very Special Episodes. This one features not only a spectacular array of performing pop singers who you thought were dead, but also a tremulous farewell to judge Simon Cowell that includes a stunning performance by Paula Abdul, playing a Fairly Normal Woman. “The Amazing Race” has


submitted an episode in which competing teams were sent to France, near Champagne, where they were compelled to dress up like World War I doughboys and crawl on their bellies in barbwired trenches, as squib bombs went off around them and biplanes buzzed them. The episode is sure to squash the “American Idol” finale, unless the academy sends it off to battle Steven Spielberg and Tom Hanks’s HBO epic, “The Pacific.” Best Use of Product Placement You love your DVR, right?


Then product placement is here to stay. Instead of grousing about it, let’s elevate it to an art form. Then maybe “American Idol” will stop subjecting us to those idiotic Ford Music Videos, and “Gossip Girl” will stop ruining delicious, sexually charged moments by having one of its hot party girls shout, “I’ll Bing that!” Best Use of Neil Patrick Harris The Emmys, the Tonys and the Oscars all put Harris to work goosing their ratings during this year’s Emmy eligibility period. He hosted the first two trophy shows and was the opening act at the Academy Awards, and in each case got mostly rave reviews. But the poor guy has never won a major Hollywood trophy. The Emmys can’t even cough up a category in which Harris can compete this year to secure the statuette he so richly deserves for all his hard work resuscitating the trophy-show genre. Instead, the TV academy last year killed the very category in which he might have competed — Outstanding Individual Performance in a Variety or Music Program. This wrong needs to be righted. Best Swanking Around Achievement Award, a.k.a. Who Died and Made Her Queen? It’s a cinch that “Grey’s


Anatomy’s” Katherine Heigl would win in this category. Back in 2007, Heigl’s chick- flick career was just getting off the ground when she surprisingly won the Emmy for best supporting actress in a drama series. The next year, she announced that she would not waste her time running for best supporting actress in a TV drama because the “Grey’s” material written for her that season was not good enough. This year, Heigl appeared in a mere seven episodes before deciding that she no longer wanted to work full time on the drama. ABC and “Grey’s” finally agreed to let her go — without getting the chance to send/kill her Izzie character off with one of those glutinous ratings-grabbing swan song episodes. Instead, Heigl’s parting gift to her “Grey’s” colleagues was to toss her hat into the supporting-actress ring one last time, on the strength of those seven episodes. How much better to create a new queenly category to more accurately acknowledge her special talent. demoraesl@washpost.com


WEDNESDAY, JULY 7, 2010


INTERACTIVE TV LISTINGS Keep track of your favorite television shows and movies with our interactive TV listings at washingtonpost.com/tv.


ITV FOR “MASTERPIECE”


ON THE CASE: David Suchet stars as detective Hercule Poirot on “Masterpiece,” airing at 8 p.m. on WETA and MPT.


HIGHLIGHTS


“Minute to Win It” (NBC at 8 p.m.) returns with new episodes, as twin sisters play ridiculous games to compete for the winnings. A train full of very


glamorous people, including Dame Eileen Atkins and Barbara Hershey, gets a visit from Poirot, who hops aboard to solve a case on “David Suchet on the Orient Express: A Masterpiece Special” (WETA, MPT at 8). After weeks of acts ranging from amazing to absolutely terrible on “America’s Got Talent” (NBC at 9), judges Piers Morgan, Sharon Osbourne and Howie Mandel narrow down the field to 48 people. BBC America kicks off two


new shows Wednesday night, starting with “Come Dine With Me” (at 9), in which four strangers/amateur chefs compete to be named the Best Dinner Party Host, with the party guests judging the meals and ultimately awarding a cash prize. At 10, new reality series “The Choir” features choirmaster Gareth Malone trying to put together incredible choirs from the most unlikely settings, from everyday neighborhoods to schools with very untrained students. “Top Chef” (Bravo at 9) gets a


few former contestants — Spike Mendelsohn, Bryan Voltaggio and Michael Isabella —to stop by the latest episode, in which the chefs must create


something delectable for host Padma Lakshmi’s new baby, and then quickly switch gears for a challenge involving hotel room service. A former executive at


Martha Stewart’s company, Brent gets a call from his old boss on “The Fabulous Beekman Boys” (Sundance Channel at 9), as Stewart invites Brent and Josh to New York City for an organic-cheese-tasting event. Salt Lake City, home to the


“Hell Fire Challenge,” tests Adam’s strength on “Man v. Food” (Travel at 9) when he heads to Kobe Sushi to eat an extremely spicy tuna roll that includes smoking-hot peppers. Driving in New York City is


always tough, but the contestants on “Work of Art” (Bravo at 10) have an even harder challenge ahead when they must draw inspiration for a project based on a car ride through the city. It’s only the second episode of the season, and a cast member on “Real World” (MTV at 10) heads to the hospital after a night on the town in New Orleans gets a little too crazy.


On Comedy Central, former


New York Times public editor Daniel Okrent stops by “The Daily Show With Jon Stewart” (at 11), and actor Steve Carell visits “The Colbert Report” (at 11:30). “The Tonight Show With Jay


Leno” (NBC at 11:35) hosts animal trainer Dave Salmoni, actor John C. Reilly and musical guest Big Boi. —Emily Yahr


MISS MANNERS Judith Martin


puts her friend on the spot


Dear Miss Manners: My college friend and bridesmaid has spontaneously decided to run for a political office with virtually no experience in the field. She expects me to donate financially. I am a homemaker with one child and two on the way. Although my husband and I can afford it, it quite frankly isn’t something that I want to prioritize in our lengthy budget. I love my friend but am


somewhat offended that she asked me to send her money and turned down my alternative ways of supporting her. (By the way, she has no husband, children, or other bills that I am aware of. She also would not represent my district, as we live in different states.) How would you suggest I proceed?


Not by a discussion of your


finances or hers, which could get ugly. You have noted that you could afford to give, and few politicians can afford to finance their own campaigns. The simplest thing would be to give a token donation, although Miss Manners can understand if you do not want to yield at all to pressure. In that case, she suggests writing an affectionate and supportive letter, reiterating your offers of alternative support (if still practical) and wishing her well, but not mentioning or enclosing money.


If she does not let it go at that


to retain you as an ally, she is not cut out to be a politician.


Dear Miss Manners: A restaurant where we dine folds the napkins in such a way that they can be used as alligator hand puppets. Most tables are set


for four, and there are only three of us including my daughter, so after properly placing our napkins in our laps after we sit down, there is still an extra napkin begging to be used as a puppet.


Since there is no rule (that I


know of) specifically forbidding the use of spare napkins as alligator puppets, and since we have correctly followed all napkin rules by placing our designated napkins in our laps, I believe that using spare napkins for entertainment purposes is fine. Although my wife cannot cite a specific offense, she still thinks we shouldn’t do it just because it is unusual and out of the ordinary. Can you please share your opinion on this matter?


It is that the restaurant has


created what Miss Manners believes is legally known as an attractive nuisance and, not having cleared the unused place setting, could not expect you to resist the puppet’s begging to be used. However, if the puppet starts


eating from people’s plates, she will have considered that you went too far.


Dear Miss Manners: Is it proper for a young lady to brush her teeth in the presence of a young man?


Only if an improper act preceded it.


Feeling incorrect? E-mail your etiquette questions to Miss Manners (who is distraught that she cannot answer them personally) at MissManners@unitedmedia.com; enter them at www.missmanners.com or mail them to United Media, 200 Madison Ave., New York, N.Y. 10016. © 2010, Judith Martin


A political novice


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