Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS) volunteers release balloons with the families of 12 Marines who died in a helicopter crash in Hawaii in January. TAPS hosted a survivor seminar and grief camp for the families.


befriend these children and help them learn how the nation honors those who have served and sacrifi ced. Most important, survivors build lifelong bonds through the program’s peer-mentor network. Every mentor TAPS trains and connects with a sur- vivor has experienced a similar loss. “If you haven’t been there yourself,


there just isn’t the same level of un- derstanding, and it just doesn’t reso- nate with survivors,” Carroll says. “A therapist may pat you on the head and tell you that everything will be OK, but it’s not something you get over.” Carroll doesn’t refer to the sup-


port TAPS provides as grief coun- seling. Instead, she embraces a philosophy called companioning developed by Dr. Alan D. Wolfelt, a grief counselor and founder and di- rector of the Center for Loss and Life Transition. With companioning, the goal isn’t to be treated but rather to fi nd others to be present with to dis- cover true healing. For Carroll, she knows all too


well what it’s like to have a devastat-


Children from a TAPS grief camp explore a tank at Fort Hood, Texas.


PHOTOS: ABOVE, CAPT. ANGEL JACKSON-GILLESPIE, USA; TOP, CPL. WESLEY TIMM, USMC MAY 2016 MILITARY OFFICER 53


ing loss and eventually fi nd comfort from others who understand her experience. In 1992, she lost her hus- band, Army Brig. Gen. Tom Carroll, in a C-12 crash that also claimed the lives of seven others. “In those fi rst few weeks, it


was absolutely overwhelming,” Carroll says. “It’s the loss of your whole sense of future, your circle of friends, your economic status. The devastation of losing the love of my life was constantly complicated by


the way he died and the other losses along with it.” Already involved in a volunteer


role with several victim support groups, Carroll sought help locally. However, she found that while or- ganizations provided social support, none of them addressed the immedi- ate emotional aftermath of loss, nor did they speak the military language to which she could relate. For the next two years, Carroll met with leaders of state, federal,


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