MANAGEMENT
know that something’s missing when we realize, I’m not getting enough out of my life. I’m not feeling that sense of satisfaction in myself that I need to feel. And there’s lots of diff erent ways to go about getting it. You certainly don’t have to leave your family behind and become a starving artist. There are simpler steps that people can take. We see this when people say, “You know what, I’m going to train to run a 5K or a marathon.” Or, “I’ve always wanted to take photography classes. I’m going to go ahead and do that.” It can be something like, “My career is good but it’s not fulfi lling. It’s not the kind of thing that is right for me. I’m going to go back to grad school” or “I’m going to shift jobs” or “I’m going to go for that promotion.” What I would say drives all these changes is that sense of something is lacking in my life in terms of me becoming the kind of person I want to be.
Knowledge@Wharton: Some people may have grand dreams and would like to take that leap of faith to a degree, but they’re worried about where they are right now and, like a Paul Gauguin, having to go so far down to build themselves back up.
Tracy: Absolutely. There’s a sense that some people can do this and take this huge step and other people need to support their families and make sure that’s taken care of. I do think there’s a great deal of authentic pride that can come from just, I don’t love my job, it’s not fulfi lling me, but it brings me a paycheck and lets me be the kind of family person I want to be. That’s a valuable way to attain authentic pride also, and I think that’s really important to keep in mind.
Knowledge@Wharton: How do you view what we’ve seen the last few years with college graduates who are struggling to fi nd that right job and have to go back to living with mom and dad, or they’re taking a job much below where they should be. I get the sense that for people like that, there’s a greater chance of having negative pride more so than positive pride. Tracy: That’s interesting because of the insecurity. I think that’s absolutely right that it’s a really tough position the economy is putting people in that you can get a great college degree, be really well educated and fi nd yourself living with your parents because you can’t aff ord rent in whatever outrageously expensive city you need to live in to fi nd a job.
I absolutely think that’s a great breeding ground for
hubristic pride, where someone might think, I’ve just got to fi nd this job and it’s very entry level and it’s doing work well below the kind of things I know I’m capable of. How am I going to take pride in that? One way that people cope with that is this compensation of, I’m great in all these other ways and that’s what I’m going to focus on. I’m going to really brag to others and that kind of thing. It’s a risk that’s absolutely out there. I don’t have any
great advice for people in that situation. But I do think knowing that this can happen might be useful. Understand that authentic pride is kind of the ultimate thing that we’re all seeking, and hubristic pride is this thing that we often go for when we can’t get authentic pride or because it’s an easier route, but it’s not going to probably buy us what we want in the sense of actual success and achievement. Hubristic pride is linked to power over others and control. I don’t want to say nothing good can ever come of
it. Many people use hubristic pride as a way of getting dominance. But the kind of power that it leads to is very diff erent than the kind of power that authentic pride leads to. Hubristic pride is much more about getting power because others are afraid of you and intimidated by you, whereas authentic pride gets you a kind of power that’s prestigious. Others look up to you because they think you have something of value to off er the group.
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DOMmagazine.com | dec 2016 jan 2017
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