planning keeps him engaged and attuned to her wishes.”
Orchestrate a Childbirth Team “The birthing mother needs continuous support from someone that can focus on her and her needs,” says Phillips. “The partner also needs to have access to experienced support. Both need to surround themselves with people that know how to enfold them in love.”’ A birthing team includes the medi-
cally trained attendant appointed to help deliver the baby; either a midwife or a doctor. Many women choose to have a trained doula collaborate, as well. She provides continuity of care and advoca- cy, lessens the need for medical interven- tion, stays with the mother, honors and includes the partner and supports the parents in making informed decisions. With home births, family members
tend to invite themselves over. The mom needs to have control of her birthing atmosphere. “I encourage moms to be firm regarding who they want in the room when the baby is born,” Wilson says.
Honor the Postpartum Mother “Giving birth is the first big unknown of parenting,” says Wilson. “You plan for it and then you have to trust and accept the outcome.” She encourages postpartum appointments for discussing the birth. “A breastfeeding mother’s nutrient requirements are actually higher post- partum,” Wilson says. To prevent de- ficiencies, she suggests moms nourish themselves during this period, delaying any focus on weight loss and regaining muscle tone. The birth team and other friends
can deliver meals, do light houseclean- ing, run a load of laundry and bring groceries. The new parents will wel- come this generous and loving help.
Deborah Shouse is a mother, writer, speaker, editor and health advocate in Kansas City, MO. Her latest book, Connecting in the Land of Dementia: Creative Activities to Explore Together, focuses on life’s meaningful moments (
DementiaJourney.org).
Blessing the Birth
by Deborah Shouse “
ingway cer- emony helps a woman prepare mentally, emotion- ally and spiritually for the work of birth- ing, open- ing her to instinctive abilities that will guide her in mothering,” says Donna Miller Watelet, interfaith minister and co-author of Mother Rising: The Blessingway Jour- ney into Motherhood. Miller Watelet, a facilitator of dozens of blessingway rituals, shares an example of a nourishing gathering: In a comfortable and safe room, a group of friends circles the mother-to-be, signifying their support. They discuss the intention for the blessingway and invite the mom to symbolically let go of any fears blocking a harmonious experience. Once her fears are emptied out, they fill her up with affirmations, appreciations and adornments. Women can gift an object that has meaning to them, such as a bead, flower or scrap of cloth, as a sign of their commitment to her. These gifts will then be fashioned into something lasting, such as a neck- lace for the mother. The circle may then bind themselves together, each woman wrapping red yarn around her wrist before passing along the skein until everyone is connected. As they discuss this intertwining, they cut the binding yarn and keep the bracelets, a reminder of their caring for the new family. “Finally, we enjoy a feast to-
T
gether,” Miller Watelet says. “Sharing a meal reminds us to bring the inten- tions of the blessingway back into everyday life.”
32 South Central PA
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