UPBEAT TIMES, INC. • October 2016 • 25 Living the Upbeat Life by Marcia Singer • www.lovearts.info


Santa Rosa, CA. ~ I’m choosing to reply this month to a heart-felt question that resonates with any- one wanting to feel whole again, peaceful, happy and safe aſt er experiencing great hurt.


childhood. My dad died when I was six, my mom became an alcoholic. I got into bad habits myself, did things I’m not proud of, hurt people I love. I’m in Recovery now, doing the AA (Alcoholics Anonymous) 12 Steps. My question is, how can I ever forgive myself or make


Q: I had a rough


amends? Or forgive my parents for not being there for me as a kid? It seems hard to do.


A: Every spiritu-


al and deeply healing tradition counsels us to be forgiving: to be kind, do no harm, be merciful and under- standing. Forgive- ness considers ‘sin’ to be ‘missing the


mark’ (its Greek word origin) – but able to do better next time. Yet as universal as this precept is, we can’t just use willpower to make it happen, no matter how hard we try. Forgiveness has a


life of its own, follows its own tao or law, and its own time- line.


It’s a movement within us


that occurs naturally as we heal from our hurts and trust opening our hearts again. T e forgiving process is life-changing and life- affi rming. --And it’s something most of us have to practice over and over, throughout our lives. You mentioned having grown


up without the fathering or mothering you needed, and I’m sorry to hear about that. Neither parent was present in the full way you needed. It’s useful to remem- ber that parents do the best they can, given what they know (and don’t know) about being loving,


... continued on page 31


October’s word: FOR-GIVING


She was there First! Upbeat at the Dead Sea in Israel!


I’m in Israel at the Dead Sea covered in mud! I was there this past July and I took your paper with me in hopes that you would publish my photo. My name is Robin Abramson and I live in Sebastopol. Love your paper!


“No amount of guilt can change the past and no amount of worrying can change the future” ~ Umar ibn Al-Khattab


UPBEAT TIMES, INC. • October 2016 • 25


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