RED GREEN NORTH OF Forty RED GREEN
www.redgreen.com
A Man’s Mind Is More a Lake than a River It’s no surprise to anyone that men’s
heads work differently than women’s do. You’ll see a woman struggling up the driveway with a couple of bags of groceries and a kid in one arm, stooping to pull a few weeds and tidying up some garden tools on her way in while not 10 feet away, her husband will be standing there, just staring at the lawn. Things may look unbalanced, but really
it’s just Mother Nature at work. You see, a man’s mind is like a mountain pool . . . still, clear, unruffled and easy to see through. If you listen carefully, you may even hear the call of the loon. On the other hand, a woman’s mind is
like a surging river, with twists and turns, eddies and whirlpools. Over time, that mountain lake will remain unchanged and remote, inaccessible and set in stone. While the raging, rushing river will totally change the landscape. It’s a wise man who remembers it’s
just nature at work, because as sure as that mountain lake seems to stand there forever, that raging river will rush through and get that loon on the lawn moving. You see a lot of people taking pride in
driving their new, expensive four-by-fours. Most of them cost more than what you paid for your house, and it may make you feel bad that other guys have things you can’t afford. If you think about it, though, it’s not what you buy that counts it’s what you don’t buy. If you’ve never bought a Ford Pinto or a Thigh Master or a Clapper to turn your lights on and off, then you can take pride in that. Not owning a Garden Weasel or fake leopard-skin anything is a great moral victory. It means there’ll be a lot less stuff to haul
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to the dump in five years. Besides, when the guys with the big lifestyles have their garage
Quote of the Day “I have more in common with my couch than I do with my friends except when they’re on it.’’
– Red Green
sales, you’ll get their stuff cheap and still have room to store it.
Like father; like heck You know that old saying, “The apple
doesn’t fall far from the tree”? In human terms, that means, “Like father, like son.” And in most cases, that can be a scary thought especially as you head towards retirement and that inevitable moment when your offspring begin looking after you. Now I’m not saying you need to quit being that lazy, apathetic guy you’ve worked so hard to become. Just don’t let the kids see it. It’s time to set an example. You need
to come up with a few hard-working, responsible moments, at least in the presence of your kids or, as you’ll come to know them, your future care givers. You’ve got to make them more responsible than you are, and you’re running out of time. Think about it. There’s no way you want someone like you making your meals. You have to do everything in your power to make sure the apple falls far from the tree, and maybe even rolls down a hill.
Let nature take its course As you put on the years, you’ll find
looking in the mirror can be bad news. Instead of just putting lower watt bulbs in the bathroom fixtures, a lot of guys these days are taking a tip from the women and going in for plastic surgery. Don’t do it. A tuck and roll looks good on a custom car seat, but on a well-upholstered, middle-aged man, smoothing out the wrinkles on the bodywork won’t keep the transmission from slipping. Don’t start messing with the system. The world doesn’t expect all that much from us middle-aged guys. As long as we can sit up to the table, get the garbage out to the curb and steer a lawn mower, we’re more or less pulling our weight. But you start looking 25, and people
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