LIVING & LE ARNING


Observing the lens of perception By Robert Kirby


My entire life has been a journey of incredible refection. I could never understand why the way I was feeling about life was reflected back to me everywhere. There is an old song from 1889 called


‘When You’re Smiling’ (the whole world smiles with you). It’s been recorded over and over by artists like Frank Sinatra, Judy Garland and Louis Armstrong. The song literally reflects all of life. Our


feelings and thoughts create their own energy system. This system always affects the immediate environment. It is like our own personal lens of perception. It affects what we believe about ourselves and how we treat ourselves. It affects how we treat others and how they treat us. Our perception of the world is not shared


by others. The entire universe is subjective. No two people see the world the same. Everyone is unique. I was conditioned to believe that the


world was objective (it was fixed and pre- ordained to be what it is) and that I had to simply fit into life and the world the best way I knew how. This was in conflict, however, with my actual life experience. Once, when I was eight years old, I was playing baseball along with my big brother Jim at a huge playing field that could easily host hundreds of children playing many different sports – but it was just the two of us.


Jim was teaching me the fundamentals of baseball. I pretended to be another boy,


George, who was 12 years old and one of the best baseball players in our city. I walked like George and talked like George and pretended to be a star player, but I was not. After a half hour of my pretending to be


George, a group of boys from far across the playing fields – almost as far as the eye can see – yelled out to me, “Yeh George we want to play a game with you. Can we play a game with you?” I was in shock and speechless. The other


boys thought I was George because I had taken on his persona and energy. I literally became someone else for a time. As the boys came closer they saw that I was not George. They said, “From a distance you looked just like George Nacitta.” I looked nothing like George. That experience changed my life forever.


I learned very young that I created my own reality, that my environment was merely a reflection of my internal reality and the workings of my mind. My lens of perception was powerful. I also somehow knew this was true for everyone. We are all powerful manifestors. I noticed this with many people over the


years. Many people I have met grew up with criticism. This was their early childhood conditioning. It usually came from one or both parents. They tend to be hard on themselves. They tend to be hard on others. They are often are highly functioning people. They get great results, but are often


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unhappy. They tend to lack spontaneous fun and joy. They were never given permission to be fully human. Criticism is their lens of perception. They need to learn self-love and self- acceptance. They need to polish their lens of perception in order to forgive themselves. When I was growing up my mother


showered her love and affection all over me. She did this to compensate because she lost her daughter who died four years before I was born. So she made me her primary object of affection. In this process my dad and big brother were neglected. I received love and attention that they deserved. It was overwhelming. I often felt guilty. So in this life I have frequently attracted


jealousy from males. I attract it because I expect it. They want to compete with me or bring me down. My lens of perception is filtered to create this dynamic. So my life lesson is to forgive myself and


let go of the guilt. This, along with shame and anger, contracts a person more than anything. To let go of these issues is to purify our lens of perception. It means we have a new life. We begin to see things as they are meant to be seen – with complete love, joy and self-acceptance.


Robert is based in Sydney and brings to his practice academic qualifi cations in psychology and business; as well as decades of practical experience in both.


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Informing Empowering


Relaonships FEATURE


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