LIVIN G & LE ARNING


HOW TO be happier – five tips


Bestselling author of How Life Works, Andrew Matthews, shares five tips. by Andrew Matthews


IS THIS TYPICAL? You are a month behind in your rent and your credit cards are maxed out. Your boss wants more results, your twelve-year-old wants to leave home and your dad won’t stop telling you that you should have been an accountant. And you have a migraine. “Be happy?”, you say, “with MY problems?” But here’s what’s fascinating … happy


people don’t have less problems. Happy people are happy in spite of problems. Here’s what happy people do – that you can do too:


1Look for good things in every situation


We find in life what we look for. If you ask yourself, “What do I HATE


about my job, my stupid husband and my life?”, you will find things to be unhappy about. If you ask yourself, “What do I LIKE about my job, my husband and my life?” you will find things to be happy about. Look for good things in every


situation. You say, “Average people don’t make a habit of looking for good things!” Correct. Joyful people aren’t average. Your happiness depends on where you put your focus.


2Make time to do things you enjoy


Maybe you don’t have a job you like – maybe you don’t even have a job. But you can spend some time doing things that make you happy every day. Mothers especially, like to play the martyr. They tell you, “I am too busy


22 AUGUST 2015


taking care of everyone else. I never get to do what I like.” That’s the road to resentment. Whether your passion is listening


to music, learning languages or lifting weights, make some time for it in your daily routine. Get up earlier if you have to.


3Live one day at a time Many people spend their lives


regretting the past and fearing the future, but you can’t fix the past and fearing the future doesn’t help. Guess what… your present moment is


usually quite okay! Unless you are having a heart attack or being eaten by a bear, the present moment is usually fine. It is the imaginary future that drives you nuts … “How will I survive if? What will happen if? What will people say?” You conquer worry by dragging your


mind back to the present moment. You remind yourself, “Right this second I have everything I need.” There is only one place you can be


happy – and that is in the present. Focus on what you can do today. Do your best until bedtime. That’s enough.


4Forgive yourself Stop beating yourself up for not


being perfect. Sure, you have made mistakes. But who says you have to be perfect? Happy people are gentle on


themselves. Happy people say, “I have lived my life the best way I know how. Now that I know better, I will do better.”


Happy people quit telling themselves, “I should be as rich as my brother” or “I should be as skinny as my sister.”


5Quit complaining Stop moaning about the weather,


the government and your arthritis. We TALK about what we THINK about.


That is obvious. The reverse is also true. We THINK about what we TALK about. The more you complain, the more you


fill your head with unhappy thoughts. If you want to talk about fixing a


problem, wonderful! But mindless complaining sabotages your happiness – and no one cares that you didn’t sleep last night and no one wants to hear about your haemorrhoid operation.


Attitude is everything. For example, imagine two women, Mary and Jane. Both get divorced. Mary says, “I’ve failed. My life is over.” Jane says, “My life has just begun!” Who will blossom? In a nutshell, it’s not what happens to


you that matters most; it’s how you think about what happens to you. Ultimately, your happiness is in your hands.n


Andrew Matthews is an internationally renowned speaker and best-selling author of Follow Your Heart and Happiness in Hard


Times, which have sold over 7 million copies in 42 languages. His latest book is How Life Works, published by Seashell Publishers.


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