WITH A DASH OF ACCEPTANCE It seems like every other week, another state joins the ranks of
the growing number, now allowing and recognizing same-sex mar- riages within their borders. A decade ago, this momentum seemed far-fetched. With Alabama and Kansas joining the fray in January, a future wherein same-sex marriage is legal nationwide seems well within reach. Nearly as liberating, is the normalcy that LGBTQ ceremonies are be-
ing met within my social circle, here in southern California. When my wife and I had our wedding in 2011 (a domestic partnership, which was then converted to a marriage license in 2013), we constantly had to field questions from uninformed guests in the weeks leading up to the ceremony. It is incredibly refreshing to hear of fewer instances occurring, such as Aunt Sally asking, “Is this a real wedding?” Or, your well-meaning cousin asking, “Who gets to wear the dress?” Worse yet, that person you thought was in your corner, offering, “I would go, but I don’t believe in ‘that’ lifestyle.” Prior to our wedding, my wife and I, both by luck and by choice, had established a strong group of allies in our friends and family and had little-to-no push back—until our wedding day. On the morning of our wedding, a stack of celebratory cards ar-
rived, from far away family who were there in spirit… including one lone, perfectly ill-timed detractor. The words of dissent came in the
WEDDED BLISS...
form of a perfectly lovely looking card from my aunt. Inside the card, was a list of reasons her newfound religion did not approve of my ‘life- style’ and thus, she would not be attending or supporting (assumed) our event. After lengthy paragraphs describing the miracle of Jesus’ resurrection, it ended with “I will always love you and remember the fun, silly and special times we shared.” I respected her recent marriage and subsequent dive into being
a “born-again” Christian. I supported these milestones with love. Sadly, I didn’t get the same treatment from her. As a vital part in my childhood and teenage years and one of the first people I came out to, the card’s contents hit me like a slap in the face. I tried to put it out of my mind and go on, with what was a wonder-
ful, beautiful day, surrounded by those who loved us wholehearted- ly. And, I realized that if I have only one tear-stained story, of a family member distancing themselves out of hundreds of loved ones... that I am one of the lucky. Three years later, she [my aunt] still stands her ground, not initiat-
ing contact or accepting my wife and me. So, as same-sex marriage sweeps across the country, I hope responses of this type fall away completely. In the meantime, I’ll accept her “lifestyle” and as she of- fered, “I will always love (her) and remember the fun, silly and special times we shared.”
“On the morning of our wedding, a stack of celebratory cards arrived, from far away family who were there in spirit… including one lone, perfectly ill-timed detractor.”
by sylvia rodemeyer
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RAGE monthly | FEBRUARY 2015 RAGE monthly
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