“Oh yes, I’d love to come over for dinner. Is it OK if I bring my new girlfriend? She’s a vegan.” What do you do in this situation? Get new friends? Pretend to be out when they knock on the door? Serve them half an iceberg lettuce and a few pistachio nuts?


Firstly - just in case you’ve been hiding under a steak- shaped rock for the past twenty years - I should clarify that veganism means omitting all meat and animal products from your diet. No, vegans don’t eat fish. No, vegans don’t eat chocolate. Yes, vegans do eat hummus! Lots of it. Not necessarily out of choice.


Now, in principal, veganism and vegetarianism is something I’m all for, and I actually was the latter for a long while. After all, animals are pretty awesome and the meat and dairy industry often leaves a lot to be desired in terms of welfare and general wholesomeness.


My main reasoning for going veggie, at the age of 14, was that piglets were cute and all of my friends were doing it. But as a former fussy eater - who at the time only liked meat, pasta and cheese - it didn’t come easily, and my first attempt at going cold turkey found me literally eating cold turkey out of the fridge in a secret nighttime raid, as I didn’t want to admit defeat to my parents so early.


Over time I managed to refine my principles, and my powers of restraint, but ultimately I was broken by one thing - my developing interest in cookery; I wanted to experiment. And I quickly remembered that bacon is absolutely fucking delicious.


Tis is the problem I have when I am required to cater for vegans. And as someone who used to socialise with people who liked hardcore music, I had to do it quite a lot back in the day (once I even had to accommodate a real life fruitarian. I shit you not). If I’m going to go to the effort of having people round for dinner, I want to make something tasty, and as far as I’m concerned, most tasty things have usually had something to do with a cow, a pig, or a chicken. When faced with dietary restrictions, a momentary wave of Hannibal Lecter sweeps over me and I consider trying to pass off a haunch of venison as Quorn’s new range of very life-like soy protein.


To quell this sort of behaviour, I have found that the best thing to do is find a dish which is adaptable for all of the different diners around the table, hence this ratatouille. No, it’s not gastronomically groundbreaking, but it has the potential to keep everyone happy. For any committed carnivores, add a lamb chop or steak; for vegetarians,


26 / June 2014/outlineonline.co.uk


sprinkle on some crumbled feta (as I have in the photo, with flagrant disregard for the spirit of this challenge), and, whilst the vegans probably won’t be heralding you the Heston Blumenthal of ethical eating, they’ll undoubtedly be bloody thrilled that you’ve gone to any effort at all to accommodate them.


Morgan Pickard RATATOUILLE with Lemon Cous Cous


INGREDIENTS (Serves 4-6)


2 tbsp oil for frying


1 large white onion, sliced 3 cloves garlic, finely chopped


2 peppers, chopped 2 courgettes, chopped


1 large aubergine, chopped 2 tins of chopped tomatoes


1 pint vegetable stock (make sure any stock


cubes you use are vegan) 1 tbsp balsamic vinegar 1 tbsp sugar


Chopped mint to serve Cous cous (200g dry


weight will be plenty for 4) Finely chopped preserved lemon (1 is enough for 4 servings of cous cous) Glug of oil


METHOD Fry the onion in the oil till softened, then add the garlic. Remove from the pan and put to one side, then fry the courgette, then the peppers etc, until all the vegetables have been individually fried and softened. Return all to the pan and add the stock, tomatoes, sugar and vinegar and allow to simmer for around 40 mins, till the sauce has reduced and thickened and the vegetables are nicely cooked.


Cook the cous cous according to packet instructions then stir in the lemon, seasoning and a glug of oil.


Season and serve topped with mint. Or a kebab.


Morgan writes her own, hilarious blog on the internet. You can visit it and do a laugh wee wee at sodnigella.blogspot.co.uk


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