nightmare. Imagine what that would look like. All angry zombies and shit. Fuck that noise. Lucky Day: June 29th
VIRGOAug 23 - Sep 22 Back in the late 70s, Te Eagles sang a song by Jackson Browne that had a haunting refrain. “Take it easy. Don't let the sound of your own wheels drive you crazy.” In the 90s, though, Roxette told us to “join the joyride”. I felt confusion in the naughties, but treated that with hormones. So, however you drive in life, always carry a spare. Lucky Day: June 2nd
AQUARIUSJan 20 - Feb 18 Te people who think that they have all the right answers, usually turn out to be the people who are asking all the wrong questions. Well, fuck those guys, oh clever Aquarius; you’re asking all the right questions this month, and you’ll get all the right answers in good time. You’re not in jeopardy, you’re a mastermind. Bullseye! Lucky day: June 23rd
PISCESFeb 19 - Mar 20 Consider the reflection you see when you look in the mirror. Implore him to repent his ways. Surely, no message could have been any clearer. If you want to transform your environment for the better, consider thine own self and make a change. Shamone. Lucky Day: June 8th
ARIESMar 21 - Apr 19 “Tere are”, they say, “none so zealous as the converted.” Take ex-smokers, for example. I haven’t had a puff in days but you don’t hear me banging on about it. Oh, self-involved Aries, it’s good to be enthusiastic about positive change, but when you’ve made an omelette, no one cares about meeting the chicken. Lucky Day: June 4th
LIBRASep 23 - Oct 22 Tink, for a moment, of some food that you are particularly fond of. Mmm. Did you have that for lunch? Why not? If you’re denying yourself the cake of life in favour of the salad of vanity don’t be surprised if you get the stomach rumbles of regret. Enjoy the sweets of indulgence and the sugars of pleasure every now and then, but occasionally go for a bit of a run. Lucky day: June 17th
TAURUSApr 20 - May 20 Why do some people build their homes close to cliff edges? Te view? Te sea-air? Te Puffins? Dr E. Mann hasn’t had a puff- in days. And I’m fine. Oh, stubborn Taurus, it doesn’t matter how you got there, if the tidal erosion of life is bringing the waves of sadness closer, best move before they smash your back doors in. Lucky Day: June 26th
GEMINI May 21 - Jun 22 If you go to almost any reputable supplier of magical paraphernalia, you will find discounts on four- leafed clovers and three for two on black cats, salt throwers and third eye enhancers. Dr E Mann bought a third eye enhancer once. In Amsterdam. For all the good it did me I may as well have put it on my penis. Remember, a half price bucket of poo is still a bucket of poo. Lucky Day: June 19th
SCORPIOOct 23 - Nov 21 My grandmother was very particular about the way she took her tea. “I like my tea like my men,” she’d chuckle, “strong, sweet and rich.” She ended up with Granddad though who’s ground down and bitter, like her coffee. Silly cow. Don’t let your pot stew too long before you pour your heart out. Lucky Day: June 1st
SAGITTARIUSNov 22 - Dec 21 Before the breathalyser, the police had another way to see if a driver was drunk. Sting would set up the bollards, Stuart Copeland would light the hoop of fire and Andy Summers would ask them to close their eyes and touch their nose. It didn’t really work and they didn’t really care, but that’s where independence and an unemotional nature will get you. Be less independent and unemotional. Lucky Day: June 21st
CANCERJun 21 - Jul 22 When we buy seeds from a garden centre, they come in little packets with instructions about how best to plant them. Dr E Mann has fallen foul of misplanted seed on one or two occasions. Happily, I’ve grown a loving family to support. Contraceptives, eh? Always read the instructions on things. Lucky Day: June 13th
LEOJul 23 - Aug 22 We all live in a 'world of our own'. You know, like in the saying. Well, oh melodramatic Leo, if you don’t curtail those diva-ish tendencies your world could be headed for a dramapocalyptic
10 / June 2014/
outlineonline.co.uk
CAPRICORNDec 22 - Jan20 Every day, we encounter unsatisfactory situations and annoying attitudes. Tere was another famous Capricorn who encountered unsatisfactory situations and annoying attitudes wasn’t there? Praise him. Tat’s right. Elvis. Don’t let the world
step on your blue suede shoes, he taught us. Be
more like Elvis. Lucky Day: June 12th
BY DR E. MANN
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